"You're the one I adore."

My new blog.

2011-08-11T17:46:00.003+08:00

FIND ME AT:

http://mabelthebimbo.blogspot.com

But I won't be updating a lot until A Levels are over. Jiayou everyone!

mabellim

I'd rather live in my dreams.

2011-04-26T20:35:00.001+08:00

Hi look at me. Kinda stupid eh, haha.

4 words I never want to hear:

It was never real.

I found someone else.

We need to talk.

I don't remember you.

Let's just be friends.

We can't be together.

I don't love you.

mabellim

Ooh la la~

2011-04-12T22:45:00.007+08:00

Hi I'm finally arsed to blog. Yah so after Block Test 1 me and Xiang went out to town to chillax. Then went Rebel after that, where a lot of shit started happening. FML.

My red skirt bought from F21 online! Nice? :)

And my hair! Done by Nicollette. Haha some people say look weird, some say nice. Idk lah hahaha but it's nice for a change :D NIC YOU SUCKAAAA.

I love you Xiang.

Hm who's this girl beside me? :)

Just thought I'd show off my pretty polka dotted maxi dress ^^ I look so pretty hehe.

Dressing up for V-Day dinner! (Yes I know it's a bit late to post this pic up ah. LOL)

Me sleeping on Nic's couch. And she drew an Evisu-like logo on my leg. Bitch! :/

At Lunar playing pool while the rest were singing songs.

My phone camera's quality sucks balls can. Zzz. Need new cameraaaaa. I LIKE THE SPECS I'M WEARING IN THIS PICCCCC HAHAHA.

This is my Parry boy! Look like hamster lor ♥

Me and Baby having V-Day dinner at Jurong Hilltop Restaurant (Y)

(Lol btw, since you think I'm fucking insincere then so be it. I don't say sorry more than once or twice to events which I don't think I'm entirely to be blamed upon.)

K I need to go eat my Marigold jelly alr. Bye bye!

mabellim

Sian ah.

2011-04-09T17:51:00.005+08:00

I CAN'T BE FUCKED TO BLOG FOR NOW. SO LAZY. HEHEHEHE.

mabellim

Insurmountable Love.

2011-03-23T18:12:00.003+08:00

I want to nuzzle up against you, in a corner, with no space between our bodies.

I want to feel your sweet breath on my cheek, my hair.

My face pressed against your soundly beating heart,
I listen to the perfection of you. Tick tock. Tick tock.

I yearn to hear your warm voice whisper longingly into my ear,
and more than anything, to feel the gentle caress of your fingertips and soft lips upon my beautiful body.

The intrigue that you stir in me is never ending.

I need you to devour me, like moody waves upon a sailboat in a desolate ocean.

I want to be yours, the one that you cling to so tightly as you rock back and forth.

The one that you hold in your arms like the ocean,

So snug. So secure.

I need you to protect me, squeeze me to you so I can feel the bizarre energy of us.

Like a cheek-stinging hurricane, my love for you is insurmountable.

Scorn me, recount our differences, and beat me as you will, but I am unexplainably drawn to you.

I am a moth with freshly damp wings, struggling to fly toward the highest light in the sky.

Kiss me with passion, with lust, with everything you have.

Kiss me with every fibre of your being, every emotion you can muster.

I am here to listen to your sorrows, feel your pains, and share your joys.

I am here to be whatever you need, forever changing, forever stable.

Your eyes, beautifully monochromatic, flicker with such life, spirit, and dignity!

I will be yours as long as you will have me, gorgeous man.

It is not rational, but my chest bursts with excitement when you speak!

The impression of your solid smirk is engraved in my mind,

and your laugh…reminds me of a thousand soft snowflakes daintily dancing upon my skin.

Is that so wrong?

Now, conveying this to you without you thinking I am an insane creep might prove difficult.

TAKEN FROM TUMBLR. NOT MINE. DON'T SAY I STOLE IT HOR. I NOT SO FREE TO WRITE LONG ESSAY DURING BLOCK TEST 1 PERIOD HAHAHAHA.

But still, it's for you :)

mabellim

FAIL.

2011-03-22T11:01:00.002+08:00

So I just received this FB message from somebadi. Imma copy and paste it here k.

That person (or people in this category) would probably look like this in real life. I THINK YOU SHOULD DIE! Ok la not so bad. Er at least don't come harass people?

Hi there, sorry to be Disturbing and bothering you...

Just wondering if i could get to know you and make friends with you? Basically looking for new female friends and people who are into the night life scene and party clubbing pubbing scene....

I am just a average guy, not a ten most probably a 5... (WHAT IS THIS?! Size of his 'brother'?)

But I am a really sincere and honest and well easy going chat and talk a lot guy....

I been kind of cheated a few times thus I am kind of not too sure if this true love exists... (And the point of you telling me this is..?)

Well I just hope I can get to know you? Drink and Dance and party... So drop reply soon tak thanks and god bless you cheers so can I buy u a drink and dance.

I am looking for cool fun party friends and do crazy stuff so hope we can be friends and party hard (Lol you alr said that in the first sentence).

LOL WTF?

And it's not the first time I received such messages. I mean like what the fuck who wants to know this type of guys? Weird-ed English and only looking for party friends. Go widen your social circle through engaging in real-time conversation lah. Facebook messaging is NOT the way to get to know STRANGERS! AT LEAST USE FB CHAT RIGHT LOL. But then again, if you belong to this caterogry of guys, I don't think you'd receive a reply on FB message or FB chat.

Only one thing to say to you: L-O-S-E-R.

mabellim

Pray for the world.

2011-03-12T00:26:00.006+08:00

OI READ LAH YOU ALL. The intro may make the whole passage look boring. But really, I don't think it's a boring post. JUST READ.

Yes, as we all know, Japan is struck by a major earthquake of magnitude 8.9. It is truly devastating. And Philippines is also hit by a tsunami. All these are natural disasters. Obviously our actions has taken a toll on Mother Earth and now more natural disasters are the result.

I'm blogging while doing my Organic Chem notes because I think that some people are really... Stupid to the max until I also bo wei gong.

Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with all those people who are saying fucking stupid things, like, "Oh Japan was Singapore's enemy last time what, now karma lor! They deserve it mah." Really, I saw this very comment on Facebook.

WHAT. THE. FUCK? How can he say such a thing? And I believe there ARE many more others who are like him.

As in the issue here is not that I'm very pro-Japan or I'm a super super emphatic person who feels so much for every single sadness in the world.

The issue here is people saying FUCKING RETARDED stuff.

And then there are the other type of people who make stupid comments on Twitter, Facebook or anywhere else. Like they say, "Omg Japan is hit by tsunami, it is really sad..." And yes so you think he/she is kinda emphatic towards this disaster. Until you see the next sentence, which goes something like this.

"... OMGWTFBBQ ASDFGHJKL !#$%^&* AHHHHH IS MY JPOP IDOL ALRIGHT? IS HE HURT? OMGOMGOMG WILL HE DIE?"

Then 3 minutes later,

"Phew lucky my Kame ( some J-Pop idol) lovelove is alright! Okay ^^ World peace everyone! #prayforjapan #prayfortheworld !!!"

FUCK YOU LAH fucking retarded shit. Go fuck yourself. What the fuck. I don't even know what other words are there to describe you already lor.

Seriously if you want to #prayforjapan only for the sake of your fucking overrated J-Pop idols then DON'T EVEN BOTHER. What's the use when commoners are dying and your J-Pop idol is alright? Huh? Don't know how to think one issit?

(OI, AND I'M NOT ANTI-JPOP IDOL WORSHIPPING EITHER HOR! I'm just pissed at their stupidity.)

And there are people going like, "Woah Japan. Earthquake. MARIA OZAWA ARE YOU ALRIGHT?"

Another breed of idiots who only care about wanking and their pornstars. Go have some real sex if you need it. PLEASE LAH. If Maria Ozawa really died then how?! NO MORE SEXY PORNSTAR AND NO MORE VISUAL PORN FOR YOU. HOW?!?!?!?! Call police and cry is it?

... Or maybe her fans would go start a 'Remembering Maria Ozawa' mass orgy.

I mean like WHY THE FUCK do people seem to care more about their idols when there are other people in REAL NEED OF HELP?

If you can't help, at least don't make stupid fucking comments right? Make yourself look fucking shallow only, like your world only revolves about your idols.

If you don't care about the situation happening right now in Japan, then don't even put #prayforjapan because it makes you look like a FUCKING HYPOCRITE who is only praying that the entertainment industry all safe.

REALLY, IDIOCY AT ITS WORST.

AND THEN WHEN I READ THIS WEBSITE, I SWEAR I WAS LIKE okay..?

http://www.religioustolerance.org/tsunami04c.htm

I'm not anti-religion okay.

Not the whole page was full of crap. If not I would be saying that religious conservatives are equal to idiots. But there was a paragraph... Wait I copy and paste here.

God carefully routed the tsunami to prevent Christian deaths: A Salvation Army officer in Sri Lanka, identified only by the initials "L.S.B." commented in a letter: "All of our officers (clergy) survived. We had officers all along the coast. Most lost everything, but God spared their lives."

I mean like HUH?!?!?! To prevent Christian deaths? Then wouldn't God be selfish? The army officer like damn what lor. The tsunami wiped out many Sri Lankans but saved the Salvation Army officers, I think I would credit that to sheer coincidence. Okay la all these are just my viewpoints. But still! I don't think God is selfish.

(I'm not Christian either. But yeah.)

(Officer's name is L.S.B. Lao sai bin?)

And then another paragraph which I think is plain dumb. (Okay v long don't needa read if you don't want to. Just read the red words.)

God sent the tsunami to punish people because of tourists' sexual activity: During an interview on Saudi television, Sheik Fawzan Al-Fawzan said that the tsunami was sent by God to punish South Asian countries because they allowed tourists to engage in immoral sexual activity. Al-Fawzan is a member of the Senior Council of Clerics, Saudi Arabia's highest religious body, and a professor at the Al-Imam University. He is reported as saying: "These great tragedies and collective punishments that are wiping out villages, towns, cities and even entire countries, are Allah's punishments of the people of these countries, even if they are Muslims. We know that at these resorts, which unfortunately exist in Islamic and other countries in South Asia, and especially at Christmas, fornication and sexual perversion of all kinds are rampant. The fact that it happened at this particular time is a sign from Allah. It happened at Christmas, when fornicators and corrupt people from all over the world come to commit fornication and sexual perversion. That's when this tragedy took place, striking them all and destroyed everything. It turned the land into wasteland, where only the cries of the ravens are heard. I say this is a great sign and punishment on which Muslims should reflect. All that's left for us to do is to ask for forgiveness. We must atone for our sins, and for the acts of the stupid people among us and improve our condition. We must fight fornication, homosexuality, usury, fight the corruption on the face of the earth, and the disregard of the lives of protected people."

SIAO. So what if people are homosexual? Fuck la according to the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, no discrimination shall occur between all humans alike hor. And I'm not trying to put Allah, his religion and his followers down.

I just think that it's a bit weird to equate the tsunami as a punishment to wipe out all homosexuals? Errrrrr? Yeah Muslims cannot be homosexual. But what's it got to do with the tsunami hitting SOUTH ASIAN COUNTRIES?! Other places also may have Muslim homosexuals what. Just that no one knows because they don't dare/don't want to admit?

I REPEAT: I'M NOT DISCRIMINATING AGAINST MUSLIMS OR WHAT. I just find the whole thought process of that paragraph a bit lame.

Now back to Organic Chem.

mabellim

Numb.

2011-03-06T23:47:00.005+08:00

All of a sudden I feel so sad. I don't know why.

I was looking through all my photos and remembering yesterday's conversation. I was taken back to the start and middle of 2010 where much shit happened. I hate how I am easily affected by random thoughts in my mind.

And I miss you, my friend. My best friend.

Someday I'm gonna break. Not much people understand the saying, "What makes me happy, makes me sad as well." I'm one of the few who, sadly, do.

Photoshop-ed one pic for tonight. For fun only. Don't like? I don't care. Yeah what's up with my sudden obsession with Photoshopping my pictures huh.

Yes I got triangle head.

I miss you dearly.

Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite.

mabellim

Got a jetpack with your name on it.

2011-03-03T20:29:00.005+08:00

Hi all here's just a song lyrics post... And 3 pictures of me :)

Don't think I'll be blogging much for the next few days till blocks are over! I'll upload the rest of the photos after blocks.

Rocketeer - Far East Movement

Here we go, come with me,
There's a world out there that we should see,
Take my hand, close your eyes
With you right here, I'm a rocketeer

Let's fly~
Up, up, here we go, go.
Let's fly~
Up, up, here we go, go.

Even when I'm high on alcohol..

Where we stop nobody knows
Where we go we don't need roads
Where we stop nobody knows
To the stars if you really want it
Got, got a jetpack with your name on it
Above the clouds in the atmosphere
Just say the words and we outta here
Hold my hand if you feelin' scared
We flyin' up, up outta here.

Here we go, come with me
There's a world out there that we should see
Take my hand, close your eyes
With you right here, I'm a rocketeer

Let's fly~
Up, up here we go, go.
Let's fly~
Up, up here we go, go.
Where we stop nobody knows

I'm always missing you.

Baby we can stay fly like a G6
Shop the streets of Tokyo get your fly kicks
Girl you always on my mind
Got my head up in the sky
And I'm never looking down feelin' priceless, yeah
Where we at, only few have known
Go on the next level, Super Mario
I hope this works out, Cardio,
Til' then let's fly, Geronimo.

Here we go, come with me
There's a world out there that we should see
Take my hand, close your eyes
With you right here, I'm a rocketeer
Let's fly..

Nah I never been in space before
But I never seen a face like yours
You make me feel like I could touch the planets
You want the moon, girl watch me grab it
See I never seen the stars this close
You got me stuck off the way you glow
I'm like, oh, oh, oh, oh
I'm like, oh, oh, oh, oh

& I love you.

Here we go, Come with me
There's a world out there that we should see
Take my hand, close your eyes
With you right here, I'm a rocketeer

Let's fly~
Up, up here we go, go
Let's fly~
Up, up here we go, go
Where we stop nobody knows, knows, knows.

♥ I've never been in space before but you make me feel like I'm seeing stars ♥

mabellim

Happy Valentines' Day!

2011-02-20T23:10:00.007+08:00

Harro. Today's post will be about Valentines' Day! :) Okay no it's not about the day itself lah, it's actually what I made for someone special to give to on this special day.

Sooooooo, I'll be sharing this no-bake cheesecake recipe with everibadi! It's really easy to make, and yummilicious too! When I tasted it, I was like, "Ah, heaven." Hurhurhur really exceeded my expectations sia.

Initially, I wanted to make this cake...

Mango and strawberry square shaped cheesecake. But I didn't have a square shaped cake mould. And I didn't have time to buy mango and wait for it to turn ripe and all that. So yeah. Ditched the idea.

I decided to make them in mini cupcake aluminium moulds.

Okay okay to make this no-bake cheesecake, the ingredients are:

Digestive biscuits. It's for the cheesecake base.

(Depends on how much cheesecake you wanna make. I used like 5/6/7 pieces of biscuit. I can't remember exactly how many pieces lah.)

Put them into a Ziploc bag and crush them! Can use your palms, the back of a metal spoon, your hairdryer, shower head, perfume bottle, anything also can lah.

Make sure to crush them evenly, don't one big piece one small piece hor. But also don't crush until too finely until become like sand like that. If not it wouldn't turn out good I guess?

Mix the crushed biscuits together with melted butter. Use enough melted butter to cover all of the biscuit grains. Spread the biscuit base out on your mould. Then put this whole thing into the freezer for 20 minutes. The original recipe said 1 hour but I guess nevermind?

To prevent messiness, put cling wrap at the base of the mould first. Like that, when you take out the cake, no need wash it until so jialat mah. Just throw away the cling wrap okeh alr :)

Kraft's Philadelphia Cream Cheese! Mmmmmm. It's 250 grams for one packet. I used one only. For the heart shaped cake mould. (Which failed btw.)

From left to right: 2 tablespoons of freshly squeezed lemon juice (without the spoon -.-), 250 grams of cream cheese, 3/4 cups of sugar, 1.5 tablespoons of gelatin.

The gelatin should be unflavoured. It's agar-agar powder lor. NTUC, Cold Storage, anywhere also can get.

Add everything into a mixing bowl.

BUT DON'T MAKE THE GELATIN MIXTURE FIRST. THE GELATIN WILL SOLIDIFY VERY QUICKLY.

The purpose of gelatin is to ensure that the cheesecake sets firmly. If not it will be like yoghurt on biscuit. It will never set properly. So the gelatin cannot solidify before being added into the mixture!!! Like that will defeat it's purpose what.

(I'll tell you when to add it into the cake batter.)

Mix everything with an electric mixer. This cake batter should only consist of cream cheese, sugar and lemon juice. NO GELATIN YET!!!

Then add in 1/4 cup of whipping cream. (It must be whipped beforehand lah. You must whip it until it becomes not so...'flowy'? What's the word to describe it? Just whip until the cream becomes a little thicker than usual. LOL.)

Pour the whipped cream into the cake batter. THEN ADD GELATIN.

How to prepare the gelatin mixture: Take about 3cm depth of water and pour into a cup. Add gelatin powder and stir until dissolved. Quickly put into microwave for 13-16 seconds. Take it out and faster add into the cake batter.

Mix properly with the electric mixer again. Be careful, due to the gelatin mixture being added in, the cake batter may be watery at first. So don't mix until everything comes splattering out. Hahahaaa. Slow and steady lah, rush for what? :)

Then when you're ready, pour the cake batter into the cake mould! Put in the refrigerator overnight, then it is ready to be eaten! :D

But since my heart shaped cake failed the first time (SUPER SAD), I decided to make my cheesecakes in these cute little aluminium cups.

You know why I failed? Coz of the gelatin. I added it in too early, so it sort of solidified even before I could turn on my electric mixer. And I didn't know that it would affect the firmness of the cheesecake.

Zzz. It was really like yoghurt on biscuit when I took it out EVEN after 12 hours of refrigeration.

ANYWAYYYYYYYYY OKAY. So I used my instincts and estimated the amount of ingredients needed for 6 of these palm-sized cups. (See below.)

I used uhhh, lesser digestive biscuits, 3/4 pack of cream cheese only. And 1/2 cup sugar. But for gelatin powder I still add same amount coz I scared I fail again. Thank God I didn't. LOL.

And ta-daaaaaa! No-bake cheesecake made with lurrrrrve!

Heart-shaped strawberries leh. I cut one! ^^

(The toppings should only be added when you take the cheesecake out of the fridge. And the best thing about this cheesecake is that you can use any toppings you want! Fruits ah, raisins ah, chocolate chips ah, whatever also can.)

I shall try making Oreo Cheesecake or Chocolate Cheesecake soon! :)

Okay school tomorrow, suckzzz. I hate studying for Econs timed assignment, roar. Bye!

mabellim

Gong Xi Fa Cai!

2011-02-07T22:47:00.004+08:00

CNY was my best holiday in 2011 so far. But I predict that the bestestestest holidays will come soon enough. Erm, 10 months later? After A Levels? *soul flies away from my body in a very Jap anime-ish way*

Yes anyway this blog post will be about CNY 2011 and a few other random stuff. Hehe I think I grew fatter again. Eat too much keropok and pineapple tarts! :/

Kar ni nar. Taking damn long to uplaod the photos online!!! Hate uploading photos for blogging leh sian >:(

Okeh I shall start with Suxiang's birthday. War lau weh everibadi turning 18 so fast! I hafta wait till 10 May. (Lol major hint? K no one cares. Emo!)

Hehe I joined her family for a late lunch at Wisma Atria's Din Tai Fung. Thanks for the treat! Yumyum :)

After lunch we went to walk walk. Tried on many hats. Wanted to buy them alr, but when we looked at the fucking price, I swear I almost gagged. I think I can find this type of hats at Bugis Street for a much cheaper price lor! Wth, $40+ for one fucking thing like that? Pui. What a rip off.

But cute lor :( Sian mine was $30+ leh. If it was ~$10 I think I buy alr.

Ate Sour Sally! Wai the sudden upsurge of frozen yogurt chains?!?! Frolick, Yami Yogurt, Sogurt, and many more.. Now Sour Sally? What else? Lulz -_-

Town is really my second home lor. Shopping with Fhot at usual place again on the Saturday before CNY week.

Wanted to find me some CNY clothes at F21 but heck lah. Lazy to dress up alr. I like my outfit hehe.

The straw fedora makes me look so Jason Mraz can???

Hi, I'm Jason Mraz's gf ^^

Country girl + extra Fhot behind!

Blahblah went tuition after shopping. Was kinda tired by then. Oh ya we saw this couple outside Cineleisure. The guy was putting his hands inside the girl's jeans! Like from behind la. CAN I emphasise on the word "inside"? When I saw that scene I was like wtfhahahalulzwhatishedoingman??? And I snapped a photo of it! :D

NAH! BIG ASS EVIDENCE TO PROVE I'M NOT LYING!

Aiyah also no faces in the picture, can't put on Stomp! But anyway Stomp will censor off the faces right? Or what? *confused* :/

At Junction 8. Take pic with my fave animal! RABBIT SQUISHY!!! So kewt hahaaaa.

Okay I think mythis blog post is very.. Neither here nor there. Like events not in sequence or anyth. I cbf to organise! Don't read if you don't like my messiness!

Dementor :)

I think I got sudden obsession with putting hoodies on my head during lessons. LOL. Today also, during Bio lab (more like boring tutorial lesson -.-)

And celebrating Amelia Chua (my siao char bor's) 18th birthday also!

The card is I make one hor. Credits leh? Ok lah jkjk. Heehee.

Genevieve, Shirlynn, Amelia and me!

OKAAAY YAY. Finally I can get to my main point of this blog post. CHINESE NEW YEAR CELEBRATIONS FOR 华人s (got 's' behind coz it's in plural form lol) like me!!!

Fuck I look damn cui in this photo. Like boy. Eeeew. With dear Suxiang sitting down watching performances :)

Me, Unice (baby!!!) and Amelia! Luvluv.

We got lo hei in school also. Lo until very messy yucks. I like to eat the crackers only :D (Note: this is the first lo hei event)

Erm then after that, went to town with Fhot and slack awhile before heading home to prepare for reunion dinner at Goodwood Park Hotel!

Since this is the Year of the Rabbit, let me present to you...

...
...
...
...

ME! Kawaii anot my usamimi headband? HEEHEE! I look like rabbit alr, so happy. Coz it's my fave animal (everyone should know by now!!!) ^^

Let me act cute for the camera awhile. Got fail anot? Tell me :(

Camwhore in toilet. Typical girl syndrome. Issit only for Singaporeans?

Me and my sister :)

Me and Shawn! Frickin' hungry, so camwhore while waiting for food to be served. Distraction mah~ Oya and watch 赤壁 on the screen. Got Channel 8 being played for us while we eat leh. So atas (lol -.-)

Hi.

Ehh I love how I look in this photo idk why. Like innocent look but not purposely act innocent for the camera one. Coz I rly nv purposely!!! LOL. And my cheeks like a rosy red only!

YAY finally lo hei time. (Second time lo hei!)

This is my family.

This is my family. Part 2.

This is my family. Part 3.

Yayyy :)

Chinese tradition. What does lo hei-ing signify anyway? I rly don't know sia zzz.

Erm after dinner what did we do. Hmm. Oh, nothing much lor. I was so sleepy that I zonked out on bed at 9+pm without removing my makeup. FML.

First day of CNY. Go my grandma's house to 拜年 lor!

So cute right the pao. Rabbit shaped leh!

Shawnnnnnieeee~

Hi. This is my outfit. Can't be bothered to dress nicely coz nv go anywhere in the afternoon also. Only go temple and pray, that's all.

But my outfit still got a tinge of sexiness lor. Okeh, very buay hiao bai moment here. But I like! :)

Me likey my tattoo.

Eh but why my right butt looks so deformed in this pic -.-

ZI LIAN.

All the cousins from my dad's side! Loveee.

My family :) Lol my dad so cute throw oranges in the air.

And my big family! ^^

At night of CNY Day 1 we went to eat dinner at Ah Yat Seafood. Near Jurong Bird Park (right?). The food there like meh only. Thought it would be nice.

Still surprised that I can fit in. But I paiseh to put in coins. If nobody around I sure put lor. But got other people so.. Haha. But cute right :)

Erm 3rd Lo Hei of this year.

Freak man why so many times. Boring -.-

I think this pic damn funny. The manager. "Huat ah!!!"

Got those standard words to say when adding ingredients to the lo hei plate right?

年年有余啊！
黄金满地啊！
早生贵子 hor!
新年快乐！

Ah yes after dinner me Shawn my sis and the 2 maids went to Marina there. Played 2 rides. Top Gun and Vortex. I took on-ride videos! So scared that my phone would drop lor. I'm still contemplating if I should upload on FB anot. Coz v noisy mostly all the people's screamings. Lulz -_-

Top Gun.

Hyped up!

2 maids like v excited lor.

Yeah this is Vortex.

CNY Day 2 was my Dad's birthday. Awfully Chocolate cake is rly damn sinful. Walao the layers of chocolate so gao. I can alr feel more cellulite forming in my thighs.

Standard family photo.

And what is this man. Somebody say this is called my seductive pose?! Lol wtf retarded.

And my sis' epic face :D

Gambling in the afternoon. Forgot to take pics. FML. But anyway I lost money way more than I won. Even though I played small. So lucky I didn't play big. If not sure lose alot. Hahaaaa. I only got BAN LUCK LESS THAN 3 TIMES!!

*cry*

4th lo hei. OKOKOK I'M GONNA STOP POSTING ABOUT LO HEI~

Dinner at Dragon Phoenix restaurant at Liang Court. Like zai only ah the name of the restaurant. So fierce.

CNY Day 3 was spent at Fhot's house. She invited NYGH's lion dance troupe to her house.

Me and Jiafang!

My mouth like swollen in this pic :(

Here comes the lion!

See, so big the 2 words. Nan and Yang.

Lion gna eat the vege and oranges alr.

All the kiddies touching the furry lion head.

Went to my mum's side to visit. Then no more alr. Yay okay done. EHHH my CNY like boring I just realised :(

ZZZ I REALLY MISS JACKIE! WTF SUCH A CUTE FACE AND TONGUE, HOW TO RESIST?! Come back :(

And Valentines' Day is just around the corner. Who's gna give me what presents/surprises? ^^ Just kidding. No one cares about me.

I'm so tired. I shall go sleep now. Nighty, I love you all.

mabellim

UPDATES!

2011-01-25T20:32:00.007+08:00

Wao! Like long time no blog! But nothing interesting also leh.. School started alr lor. You know that horrible feeling of waking up at 6.15am every weekday? Yeah, it's not even the third week of school and lectures are starting to cast a sleeping spell on me alr. And homework zzz -_-

I WANT MY RELAXED LIFE BACK! *cries*

Class chalet early this Jan!

Class photo :)

I rrrruve the chicken wing and marshmellows!

Me and my classmates playing mahjong. I just learnt how to play. Noob to thaaaa max.

Me and Unice baby! So loving hahahaha.

Amelia, me, Genevieve.

And part of why I haven't been blogging much lately is coz of JACKIE! Lulz. So cute lah. He's my dad's friend's dog. Everytime drool all over the house one. When I come home from school, I always tell Jackie, "Fat dog. Stupid dog. Smelly dog."

Then it will look at me with its head cocked to one side, tongue out, like thinking to himself, "SIAO CHAR BOR, LER GONG SI MI???"

Fat dog.

Jackie likes my dad's smelly socks. I tried to take them away and it tried to bite me -.- SMELLY DOG.

Cuteeeeee ttm lah the way he sleeps. Heheh.

This one is Jackie's pyjamas. Like a gay only, Jackie is a male dog and he is wearing a floral dress. Hurhurhur.

It's damn playful lor. Then everytime want me to bring him out for a walk, he will always lie down and whimper pitifully. I fell for it like a few times, thought he was gna poo in my house. But nooooo he didn't poo when I brought him out to walk.

Lol, lesson learnt. Have been ignoring his cries ever since. And he hasn't pooed in my house either. So... (Y)

And meet Mango! My tuition teacher's dog. Can play dead one know! Like when you say, "Bang!" and point a gun (made out of fingers lah) at him, Mango will auto roll over lor. SUPER CUTE omg I can just squeeze its cheeks. Like cuter than Jackie leh HAHAHA.

Kk enough of the dog talk. I WANT A DOG SO FRICKIN' BADLY! Jackie going back to his owner this weekend already. Sad! (x.x)

15 Jan 2011, Saturday. My cousin, Avery, and her boyfriend's (or should I say husband?) wedding day.

Had to wake up in the morning, go cousin's house have buffet lunch. Then at night went Regent Hotel for wedding dinner. Hehe. Eat good food the whole day, so shiok.

I want me some flowers too! *hint hint lehhhh warao*

Me and Shawn. Fucken bored sitting around his house. Literally eat finish alr nothing to do. So camwhore lor.

Deng deng deng deng! Me and the bride! Traditional Chinese costume :D

Then the famous tea ceremony commenced and blahblah.

“奶奶喝茶，爷爷喝茶。”
“Okeh，幸福最重要啊。”

“舅舅喝茶，舅母喝茶。”
“Ah，子孙满堂啊！”

...

After everything ended, I brought Jackie to Pet Lover's Centre at Holland Village thr to buy his food. Then sleeeeep for awhile and got ready for wedding dinner.

I wore a black bodycon dress. With like a crystal-studded back. Aiya fuck idk how to describe lah. Then I had to wear the nude bra. Look like abalone that one. I was scared it would drop off halfway through the wedding dinner. Super skeptical. My first time wearing what.

But EH no srsly, it just stayed there miraculously! (Okay lah coz it's sticky duh -_-) But it's super comfy and all. GIRLS! GO BUY IT! I think anywhere and everywhere got sell right. Every girl should own this abalone bra! As I would call it! I think I got it for less than $20?

Hehehehe go buy lah, Chinese New Year can wear sexy dress go hotel eat Reunion Dinner and lo hei ^^

Why am I so zilian? :)

Alot of people said we look like couple in this pic. Lol.

My nanny's family also attended the wedding! Loves.

Seeeeeee my Kate Spade silver bag that Nicollette got for me in USA!

Here comes the bride. All dressed in white~~~

Avery and Junwei. Yay, last long! :)

After the dinner, went to Rebel with Nicollette and BT. And in case you notice that I'm wearing the same dress as I wore in the afternoon (for lunch), yes you are very observant, but no prizes.

Anw I did change back into my afternoon dress. Don't say I lap sap okay. I didn't sweat lor coz afternoon was in aircon whole day.

Me, Nic, erm Evangelynn (??? Idk how to spell her name!), Aditi.

Moaaarrrrr pics.

Now we feelin' so fly like a G6~~~ (LOL)

And THIS is my baby. Lol Juicy Couture wallet from USA also. Thanks Nic luvluv.

SEE MY IPHONE WALLPAPER!!! KAWAII DESU NE ^^

And this is the newest addition to my collection of toy rabbits. Baby Jester! Hee, he sleeps beside Pinkiepirate now. I love you :)

Okeh that's all I have for now. MY LIFE IS SO MOTHERFUCKING BORING!!! And I have CCA tomorrow. How nice. I can't wait for Chinese New Year.

Get angpaos. Get my fucken Dr Martens boots! FUCK YEAH. (Y)

Purple?

Black?

Stale red?

Gaaaahhhh can't decide. Me and Nicollette went to the flagship store at Orchard Central today. I swear I would be happier if I could take home any pair that I liked. For free.

BUT NOOOO. I hafta wait till I get my angpao money :(

K, au revoir!

mabellim

-_-

2011-01-05T22:47:00.002+08:00

I got this from the blog of someone who hates me. Those who're close to me should know who.

oh yah. the unforgettable moment.
slapping someone for the first time :) *super bitchy look*
shall make that my 4th new year's resolution.
dont offend people anymore hahaha. (its been happening once every year in case you didnt realise -_-)

LOL how is that going to be your fourth new year resolution??? You mean what, you gna slap people again?

Orh wait or issit I misinterpreted it wrongly? You're trying to say you don't wna offend people anymore? Or what? Aiya I also like cbf anw.

Er but sad to say, that person like never grow up leh. I just happened to chance upon that blog (I never stalk hor), then I saw all these stuff. Of coz I will dulan right. Obviously talking about me lor I'm not dumb, you're not gna act dumb also okay.

I GOT CONFESSION TO MAKE!!!

I really don't know how I've stepped on that person's toes. Lol like sian max. I didn't steal your ex, that's one thing for sure. Coz I've heard people saying that's the main reason. But I don't think it is?

Oh btw it's not called slapping someone if your palms didn't impact my cheeks at all. Sorry :(

Okay I'm gna wash my hands off you forever, but I can't help it if we pass by each other in school. So please don't say things like you don't want school to reopen because you'll see my sickening fuckface HAHA. Coz I'm not and I don't wna say the same about you as well.

~~... Although my heart violently defies my head and is still calling you one.~~

Have fun at school!!!

mabellim

2011.

2010-12-31T14:03:00.010+08:00

Really, what can I say to make time move a little slower? I feel like there are many things in 2010 that I could have done better in. Oh well, merely words coming from a procrastinator like me. I need me some follow-up actions to make my words count, baby!

2010 has not been the best year, because till date, 2009 was the best time of my life. However, 2010 has been THE year where I've learnt much of life's lessons from. 2010 has been a very challenging year for me, and I'm glad that I was strong enough to overcome all the obstacles in my path.

1. Be yourself
I guess I'm known for my bitchy/unfriendly attitude, the 'cold' face that I put up most of the time and other...not-so-nice things that I've heard about myself. Honestly, to have heard so many negative things about myself, I'm really not surprised at all.

People judge. Everywhere, anywhere and anytime. And for me to have heard all these stuff about myself, I guess it all boils down to my appearance, what I've done so far, and how I carry myself in places.

Let's not go too deep into my appearance lah. I know, my tongue stud, my messy unkempt fringe etc. These are PHYSICAL. Having a pierced tongue doesn't automatically transform me into a bad girl.

K, can go laugh all you want at my weirdo face.

It's just what I like: body art. Okay, hold your tongues first (pun not intended btw). Some may think it's not body art at all. but at the end of the day, it's still all about MY perception of art, and not YOURS. I'm being realistic here. And I'm not embarrassed by my physical looks at all, not even my tongue stud.

OKAY LA EXCEPT FOR MY CELLULITE, 可以吗??? Hahahahaaaaaa.

Let's talk more about my actions.

In school, how I sit (unglam?), how I talk (with that foul mouth of mine, and yes I know I have one), my school mates will judge me.

In the public, those who know me (e.g.: relatives that I meet along Orchard Road etc.) will judge me.

On the Internet, things that I blog about, photos that I post online, my Facebook profile, netizens will judge me.

And yes, when I say all these, I have to admit that I do judge people out there too. But as long as you don't let yourself get affected by my thoughts, what do you have to lose? Right?

It's no use trying to change how others view me. Because I know I can't. The slightest thing I do (that is considered taboo or the notion that you-are-a-bad-person) will ultimately cause myself to be labelled in society. What I'm saying is that I live for myself. I don't live trying to please everyone I know. I don't live for the sake of making myself look like an innocent girl.

Also, I may have been very immature at times, I may have been unreasonable, but I am still me. I may not be perfect, but I am willing to change. Like I said a long time ago, only I judge myself, and I make changes that I deem necessary.

I'm glad that I was born me, because I really wouldn't want to be another person in this lifetime.

2. Important people
What is a world without friends? Throughout this whole year, I've made new friends. I've lost some, but now I know who are the ones who are willing to help me when I need it. I really appreciate them, not just for supporting me, encouraging me, and giving me advice when I'm lost. But I also appreciate them for forgiving my mistakes, as well as loving me.

Take for example, a test of friendship was set early this year. If it was not for the initiative that she took, to come to my house to bake chocolate lava cakes with me, I may not have been so close to her. It is true that she lost a best friend because of me, and honestly I do feel guilty about it. But at the same time, thank you Nicollette, for accepting me for who I am, and I love you for being the girl whom I everyday text nonsense with, without fail!

BABE! (Hahahaaaaa)

Not to mention Cyrus (bored feta dek LOL) who is someone whom I can very much depend on. Listen to me rant shit on MSN and give me advice based on his past experiences, joke around with me and all that. Haha, must be honoured that you're one of my closest guys friends okay! :)

Also, maintaining two years (and counting!) of friendship is not easy. These two people have certainly been rocking my life ever since I met them.

Fhot, although there were small misunderstandings between us during certain periods of our friendship, I'm glad that both of us never hesitated to clear the air, and I really thank you for being a great listener with your never-ending supply of retarded jokes to cheer me up. I love you for being my Fhot sister :)

Fhot 4 lyfe!!!

Suxiang, thanks for being my mei (I've always regarded you as my mei, although you're older than me hahaaa), the one who always does crazy stuffs with me and stupid role plays to pass time. You're never far away, always a text or phonecall away from me. And I love you for being my princess :)

Luv you max!

The first boy that I've ever loved, Parry. (Yes, he is important.) I can't tell you how important he is, because I don't think there are any other words to describe how I feel about him (other than 'love'). Everywhere I go, every song I hear, I think of him. Pinkiepirate, and a few other miniature rabbit keychains that he gave me, I'm contented with them. Every page of my diary talks about him. He has become a part of me: my heart, unknowingly.

You are my first true love ♥

Well, that's not all. I still have my family to thank. For being the ones who will really not abandon me come what may. They're the ones who have spent the longest time with me, the ones who watched me grow up and they're the ones who I can fully trust. I'm not saying I don't trust any of my best friends, but I'm just saying that my family is the one which I can depend most on when I really need help. Heehee.

3. Be strong
Often, things don't really happen the way you wished they would. In certain times of your life, you are bound to fall. The first fall will hurt, so will the second, third, fourth and subsequent falls. But what matters more is willpower. I've been hurt. Time and again. I stand up, and people will push me to the ground again.

What helped me get through 2010 is strength. No, I'm not saying I'm the strongest person around. But if I didn't have the strength to pick myself up again, I think I might just have literally died at the lowest point of my life (which was a few months ago).

4. Always stand by your beliefs
Most of my readers would have known that I've been on a really long ride on an emotional rollercoaster. Love is a mysterious thing. It comes and goes. It catches you when you're most unaware. It can make you feel like the happiest person on Earth. But it can also hurt like a bitch when your other half disappoints you.

Love is not a smooth-sailing boat. I know that, because I've been through it before. But my beliefs are the oars that help to steer me towards my destination. (Okay I know lah, v cheesy coming from me, pls don't laugh at me k.)

I'm not a love guru, so I can't always give the best advice. But what I'm gonna say, is probably what most of us are doing. Live in the moment, share your joys and woes with one another. Kiss deeply, and hug like you're never gonna let go. Say hello like it's the first meeting, and bid each other goodbye, knowing that you'll definitely meet again.

To me, the only thing that has ever been embedded in my mind and heart with regards to love, is TRUE love.

No, not those Disney type of true love, where Prince Charming and the Disney princess fall in love at first sight, then oh ok got Wicked Witch, then ok kill her, get married and have kids blabla.

What I'm talking about when I say true love, is the language called 'The Truth'. Even when people are not in love, most find it difficult to speak this language. Everyone lies. It is a fact. Well, after a whole lot of events happened unto me, I carried with me an important lesson from 2010, and imma bring it into 2011 and the years that come by.

So I got it on my lower back. (Yes this is my photo, not some random photo I got off the Internet. Going back to point number 1, people will judge me. Okay, self-reminder has been done -_-)

5. Apologies
To those who have been affected by what I said or did, I know I shouldn't have done that. I am not asking you to forgive me if you don't wish to, but I just want to let you know that I regret it. If you know that I'm talking about you, really, I am sorry.

...

As for my New Year Resolutions, I'll prefer to write them down in my diary and not blog about 'em.

2010 is coming to an end in about 7 hours. I hope that everyone will keep their happy memories, forget the sad times, and hope for a better year ahead of us.

Happy New Year! :)

mabellim

(P.S.: Woah woah long post, I can go be an inspirational writer already. BTW, EVERYTHING IN THIS POST IS COPYRIGHT AH!!! Let me kiasu abit put the symbol first.)

©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©

You & I.

2010-12-29T19:29:00.002+08:00

21 Guns - Green Day
Do you know what's worth fighting for?
When it's not worth dying for?
Does it take your breath away,
And you feel yourself suffocating?

Does the pain weigh out the pride?
And you look for a place to hide?
Did someone break your heart inside?
You're in ruins

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms, give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky, you and I

When you're at the end of the road
And you lost all sense of control
And your thoughts have taken their toll
When your mind breaks the spirit of your soul

Your faith walks on broken glass
And the hangover doesn't pass
Nothing's ever built to last
You're in ruins

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms, give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky, you and I

Did you try to live on your own
When you burned down the house and home?
Did you stand too close to the fire
Like a liar looking for forgiveness from a stone?

When it's time to live and let die
And you can't get another try
Something inside this heart has died
You're in ruins

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms, give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms, give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky, you and I

mabellim

LOL.

2010-12-27T23:54:00.004+08:00

Eh seriously. I think I'm either fucking stupid or really reallyyyy no brains at all.

2 examples to illustrate my point:

1) I was watching The Karate Kid (movie) ytd night w my sis. She told me, the boy, Jaden Smith, look like girl.

I told her, "Ya she IS a girl what."

"No he's a boy lah."

"Girl! My friend tell me one."

"You go check Internet lor."

*goes on to Wikipedia*

FML.

Nicollette!!! And Courtney! How come I have this veeeerrry vague impression that you two were the ones who told me Jaden Smith was a girl?!?!?!?! While walking in Cine I saw the poster and I asked if Jaden Smith was a boy or girl?

And I believed your lies until ytd! -slaps forehead-

2) I started watching The Vampire Diaries today. And before today I was complaining to my cousin that the 'first' eposide was very no link and I don't understand. So I don't wanna watch.

But only today, when I decided to give this whole series a second chance not to bore me to death, I realised that the 'first' episode was actually named S01E12. Meaning I had watched Ep 12 and thought it was the first episode. Zzz.

Double FML.

mabellim

Red & Green

2010-12-26T22:21:00.006+08:00

Hi pathetic 2 photos for ytd. Only went for family lunch and a movie, no bowling no gifts exchange. Ugh I hope next Christmas will be better.

Counting down 364 days (!!!) SO EXCITED.

Nah, give you rebonded hair picture. Looks weird not? :(

Me and Shawn.. My chin area like sumting wong! Issit my cheeks too fat?

Christmas passed in the blink of an eye. Woke up to a bad start, crying and all. But I slept with a sweet smile on my face.

And that's the problem with love. You never know when it starts, and never know when it's gna end.

It makes you confused.

When you're confused, you get scared.

When you get scared, you don't have the courage to fully open up your heart to someone.

All I need is some reassurance, that everything's gna be okay in the end. I just... Need you here.

Now.

mabellim

(Y)

2010-12-24T18:03:00.003+08:00

Hello hello hello I just changed my blog's header image. Zi lian max heeheeeeeee :)

Posting random pictures from November... Oioioi someone save me from boredom.

Okay so this is my Oral Presentation day. FML man I was quite nervous. Busy doing last minute memorising of script. And I had to pin up my fringe!!! Fucking fugly nerd max pls :(

Then after that we had faculty outing at Wavehouse. It was average to me. TBH (to be honest), I was never a fan of school events anyway. Fuxing hate 'em idk why.

Ok lah I'm anti-social k. I only go for my classmates, awwwww :)

2 of my best friends in class, Amelia and Unice :)

MY CLASS IS LIKE FEMALE DOMINATED, have I mentioned that before? Only 7 guys huahuahuaaaa. Or issit 8? Can't remember lol oops :/

After the event.

Clubbing night at Rebel w Nicollette and James. I miss that bitch. YAY coz she's getting me JUICY COUTURE AND KATE SPADE STUFF FROM USA :)

Luv this pic hahahahaah.

Pretty high when I took this photo. Stupid face -_-

Shopping w Fhot quite a while ago. Haha.

When my hair was still un-rebonded (N)

Took pic w the big Ferrero Rocher Christmas tree.

And the decor at Vivo. Haha like tourists only. But yeah lah my favourite festive season is Christmas.

Like my dress? Like the bunny ears hairband? I LOVE BOTH :)

My 2 dear cousins!!!

At Paragon goofing around with all the Christmas decor.

She's getting married in January 2011! Aww so sweet I love weddings. Can't wait! Heehee.

NOTHING TO DO AT HOME zzz okay maybe I shd go bathe. What am I doing for tmr I also don't know.

FML WHERE IS MY USUAL FAMILY BOWLING ACTIVITY AND BUFFET LUNCH AT SOME ATAS HOTEL??? Why this year no have :(

New Year's Eve also dk doing what. Sian ji pua :'( maybe drink. Or go watch fireworks lol. (Is there even fireworks on NYE?)

Well, wassup for y'all out there on Christmas and New Year's Eve? Let me know! In my Formspringgggggg or on my tagboard. I wna know coz I'm so kaypoh (Y)

Dear Santa,

I know I haven't been a good girl this year. Not even anywhere near average. But I'll be making the same wish every Christmas: To have him by my side.

Santa, please.

mabellim

Get high.

2010-12-24T15:25:00.002+08:00

Reality is an illusion caused by a lack of drugs.
Reality is an illusion caused by a lack of drugs.
Reality is an illusion caused by a lack of drugs.
Reality is an illusion caused by a lack of drugs.
Reality is an illusion caused by a lack of drugs.

Wake up; but... Where are you?

mabellim

Randommmm

2010-12-23T19:40:00.002+08:00

I LOVE STRAIGHT HAIR
I LOVE STRAIGHT HAIR
I LOVE STRAIGHT HAIR
I LOVE STRAIGHT HAIR
I LOVE STRAIGHT HAIR

Haha yay my hair is so much more manageable now. Christmas is in 2 days but I don't know what we're doing. LOL nice, no plans for Christmas (Y)

Anyway, k I'm going out alr so bye.

mabellim

...

2010-12-21T20:01:00.000+08:00

Sigh.

mabellim

Secret.

2010-12-18T13:46:00.001+08:00

I just realised that I like to ask anon people, "Who are you?"

I'll never get an answer most of the time anyway. It's just a habit LOL. K bye.

mabellim

You're the very tune that my heart sings about.

2010-12-17T22:20:00.006+08:00

Remember when we were standing outside Ion a long time ago?

And we saw these 2 street buskers playing and dancing to the tune of Sweet Child O' Mine and Hotel California.

I miss that night.

"You can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave."

mabellim

Closure.

2010-12-17T18:50:00.004+08:00

CHRISTMAS IS COMING!!! ^^

THEN NEW YEAR COUNTDOWN.

THEN CHINESE NEW YEAR.

CAN'T WAIT!

Next week will be a busy week. Monday must go back school do stuff for CCA, sian like nobadi's business. I DOWAN TO GO BACK SCH. Then must factor in time for studying (procrastinated by alot alr). Then meet up w Ameliaaaaaa. And all that.

Idk if we're having bowling and delicious Christmas lunch (just like the past few years). I hope so lah. If not like boring only.

Oya and I got complaints about Ms Amy Lim. Fuck man how can she forget to give us our GP holiday homework when she told 10S77 about it?!?! Screwing with our class issit. Don't like 10S7J can, at least don't make us panic until like that??!?!?!!?!?!?! Don't do then got demerit points summore WTF?! Purposely wait until year end then spoil our holiday mood. Still must ownself go back to school and take those worksheets.

SIGH~ Why our class got such a teacher sia. Suay until cannot suay alr lol.

Tmr night got tuition summore fml much -_-

I miss my baby! UNICEEEE :(

mabellim

Humans are the same.

2010-12-16T00:35:00.005+08:00

One of my favourite quote from Gossip Girl (Y)

Juliet: Nate, please. You're different than anyone I've ever known.

Nate: But y'know what? Just save it, okay. Because you're exactly like everyone I've ever known.

mabellim

You are my sunshine.

2010-12-13T23:12:00.003+08:00

Pain is only temporary. The only thing it leaves is a scar. Mine was on my fucking heart.

돌아보지 말고 떠나가라 또 나를 찾지말고 살아가라
너를 사랑했기에 후회 없기에 좋았던 기억만 가져가라
그럭저럭 참아 볼만 해 그럭저럭 견뎌 낼만 해
넌 그럴수록 행복해야 돼 하루하루 무뎌져 가네

I will try to ignore that scar. It's hard. I'll try. But somehow, I always find ways to reopen my wound.

mabellim

Reminisce.

2010-12-08T19:56:00.003+08:00

Warning: Considerably lengthy blog post. DON'T READ IF YOU'RE SICK OF MY LOVE LIFE. I JUST WANT TO RANT.

I still remember our very first date.

I was at home waiting for dinner time to come. Naturally, I'd be nervous. Your texts made my heart race. I was pacing back and forth the room. There was this unsettling feeling in my heart. I was worried about the many things that could go wrong on our first date. What if I embarrassed myself?

The sun slowly set. The mild evening sunlight creeped into my bedroom. I couldn't wait. What would you be like in person? How would you sound like? Oh god, all that anticipation was making me even more restless.

The time came for us to meet. I took a deep breath before leaving my house. And when I saw you, my nerves got the better of me. There was an awkward moment. But we talked. And it kind of got better. The atmosphere lightened.

We had dinner at Swensens'. I don't know what we talked about. All I know was that I was drowning in your friendliness. I didn't dare to eat much, I was afraid I'd look like a pig gobbling down the food. First impressions do count right? We had a good time at the restaurant, laughing over pepper water. Yes, I do remember that. And I wonder if... You remember it too?

We walked over to the swing nearby. It was a romantic place I swear. With the night growing darker than ever as time flew by, the whole setting seemed calming. We just sat there and talked for a few hours. I looked at you as you lit a cigarette. The smoke hid your face.

And I smiled as you went on talking. I was wondering to myself, "How far would we go from here?" I've never thought that it would be so easy to open up to a stranger on a first date. But I did it. I could, because it was you that I was opening up to.

It was like our future was shrouded in mystery, just like how your face was blurred from the smoke. But I knew that whatever that was in store for us in the future, love ain't gonna be easy.

...

As days went by, I found myself becoming more attracted to you. You, being your voice, your personality, your perfume and everything else that defined your very existence. I found that I couldn't live past a day without texting or calling you. It felt like there was this unexplainable bond between us that grew stronger and stronger each day.

Rabbits, 99 hearts, American Dad, your "Your mom" jokes, I can recall every single thing that happened between us. I can recall the times we laughed together, the times we cried, those quarrels we had, and how things always seemed to be fine in the end. I enjoyed every moment spent with you.

I couldn't break free from this bond. No matter how hard I tried to. On days when we quarrelled, this bond only grew stronger. You were pulling me back to you. Sounds illogical? Yeah, I find it queer as well.

...

Now, back to the question I asked myself on our first date, how far have we come?

It's complicated? That would be an understatement. Would I compare us to what's being seen on the tabloids? Nah, an overstatement.

...

Blogging actually calms me down. When I was just about to flare up at everyone at home. But now I just feel like a rejected retard sitting at home thinking about.. You. Yes, you. Can you believe it? When I promised myself that I'd let go of you. What a joke I am.

Who am I to think that things would actually go my way? No, they didn't. Instead, I pinned my hopes too high up and now everything seems to be crumbling down all over again.

I hate my Formspring but I chose to answer those questions anyway. If you anonymous people ever see this, just know that I AM facing up to reality. I DO KNOW what's going on in my life. It's just that... Sometimes, the pain, I can't feel it in my dreams. So I choose to live in them.

It all feels like the movie Inception... How do I wake up from limbo? By dying again?

(So does it mean my heart has to die again, my ideals of love have to be destroyed IN MY DREAMS before I can truly wake up?)

It sounds scary and I would never want a dream to be ruined. Not this particular dream :'(

mabellim

JB/Sushi

2010-12-07T23:03:00.003+08:00

Okeh... I know I haven't been updating properly. Aiyah coz nothing much happened so.. Update for what?

Erm. I shall blog about my JB trip and me making sushi just a few days back! Nommmm.

So I went to JB with Suxiang for like 3 days 2 nights. Stayed over at her house and just nua our days away~ Travelled by car. Xiang's mum drove and we were playing our favourite songs on the way to JB. Yay for road trips.

(Lulz btw I'm painting my nails pink nowwww)

Had grass jelly drink upon arrival. (Y)

Suxiang's dinner for that night. Niceee.

Lol. Like stunned expression only.

Their hawker centre like quite different from Singapore's lor. I forgot to take pictures of their hawker centre. Too bad.

After dinner we drove back to her house and I think we were pretty tired by then. Bathed and all then went to sleep.

I had trouble sleeping sia. I'm having this problem since like a few days back. Why ah. Sth wrong with me issit.

DO I HAVE INSOMNIA?!?!? NoOoOoOoOoOoOo~

Kk anyway the next day we woke up and went to this Korean restaurant for lunch.

Camwhore time! :)

The Korean BBQ was yummy. And the kimchi soup was spicy. FML my tongue was literally numb and all from the spiciness.

And it's rare to see this in Singapore...

Wait for it....

Scroll down!

Cocount ice cream!!! Summore it's in a coconut shell leh, so kawaii right.

Wait. Does Singapore even have this kinda thing? If have, must tell me hor. It's damn nice lor. Taste abit like vanilla ice cream but got abit of coconut milk inside. Wonder how they made it.

Happy girl eating coconut ice cream. I'm lovin' it~

Camwhore again.

Went to City Square to shop around after lunch. Can't remember what I bought. Errr pink nail polish? From Etude House. For like freaking RM2.95 only lor pls. CHEAP SHIT.

Oya. We watched The Social Network also. Like interesting only. I wanna be like Mark Zuckerberg also. Set up Facebook then earn so much $. Shiok lor. I'll set up the next social networking website called Bitchbook.

HAHA let all the bitchiness from all over the world be unleashed!

And Bitchbook will have the tagline: "Bitch and get bitched about." LIKE A COOL ONLY. Okok digressing.

Went to take neoprints. Camwhoring again inside the neoprint shop -_-

Xiang's house has 2 cats. This is Naughty Cat. Not friendly at all lor. Each time I try to pet it, it will want to scratch me. Bad kitty! I named it Sneaky Cat (inside joke).

This is Fat Cat. It's much more tame and it always lets me pet its head! Cute maximum zueh zueh. Meow~

End of Day 1. The next day we woke up early to eat roti prata from this stall. Apparently it's famous lor. Yep it's quite nice also. I had two for breakfast plus a cup of teh tarik. Shiok :)

Xiang. Happy kiddo.

Me. I look kinda sleepy coz I'm obviously not a morning person -_-

CRISPY MOUTH-WATERING PRATA RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME LOR. Jealous not? ^^

Then went back home nua until 1+PM then went for lunch. Xiang's parents brought us to JB's famous bakery and I bought their banana cake to bring back to Singapore. I had like a few pieces of bread for lunch only coz I was quite fuuuuuull.

Posing like tourists in the bakery.

Yah it's called Hiap Joo Bakery. See the menu, quite alot of flavours to choose from. Their business roaring like mad lor.

Anyone bought bread from there before? Really damn nice lor next time go JB MUST MUST MUST go buy from there.

Forgot what we did after lunch. I think just go back home nua again hahahaha.

Dinner time, we went to some restaurant called Lavender. (?!)

Xiang so cute. Christmas is coming omg can't wait! :D

BFFs forever hehe.

Ice cream cup also want to pose with. Haiiiiis can't stand myself. LOL.

On the last day, we stayed at home and played with Xiang's cats and raced each other on her Playstation 2. Fun lah. Thanks babe for having me over those few days :)

...

This trip let my mind rest for awhile, I was temporarily free from all troubles. Actually, I dreaded coming back to Singapore because I knew what I'd be like when I came back. I'd be that lifeless bitch without any company. Serves me right for screwing up my love life huh.

Really. I just wanna migrate to some other country and start life anew. Get a new loved one and just leave my troubles here in Singapore. Zzz.

Kk enough of the emo paragraph. Erm next is sushi. YAH I MADE SUSHI for the second time in my whole lifeeee! *excited*

Sushi ingredients! There's seaweed rice tuna cucumber crabstick and bak kwa. Plus a few moulds to make onigiri. You must be thinking, "Omg srsly, bak kwa?" It sounds weird but it's really nice lor. Don't believe then don't believe lol, I eat can alr.

Okay! After we have all the ingredients ready, it's time to make sushi!

First, we put rice on the seaweed then all the other chapalang ingredients.

Lastly, you roll the sushi using the bamboo thingy and you're done!

LOL SUPER SUMMARISED VERSION OF THE ACTUAL PROCESS. Which includes wetting your hands and all that. Lazy to explain lah!

After cutting that roll of sushi, it will look like this.

For onigiri, it's really damn easy.

One step only. Just put the rice, then make a hole for the ingredients, then cover with more rice and we're done.

SEE. Still got round shape one leh. Haha.

Wah what have I been doing this whole holidays man. Time to catch up on school work. I read thru Permutations and Combinations alr. Did some of the tutorial. And abit of chem and bio holiday homework. Need to jiayou!

(Happy 22nd Birthday, I love you. That's all I can say.)

mabellim

Off to JB.

2010-11-30T22:35:00.002+08:00

Harro I know I never update. Lazy also ah. Busy enjoying holidays hurhurhur. I'll update soon k.

I AM BACK ON MAPLE MUAHAHA (but I bet I'm only gonna last for like a two weeks or so? Then I'll give up alr lulz)

Kawaii desu ne.

Anw. I'll be going to Johor Bahru from tmr evening till Saturday. Stay at Suxiang's house. Lol. This will be my last update before I come back.

BYEEEEEE~

mabellim

(P.S.: Haven't packed. FML tmr still gotta go for physio. K bye, I'm an excited kiddo! ^^)

Love is selfish.

2010-11-13T15:08:00.005+08:00

On the first page of our story
The future seemed so bright
-- Rihanna, Love The Way You Lie Part 2

And I'm the one hurt in the end. Stay happy with him, even though you two have been the reason why I've been crying for the past few months.

J, you really shouldn't have lied to me time and again. Just tell me and it would have been easier for me to let go.

P, you too. You should have made a decision right from the start and not keep me hanging there for the past 2 months.

Now I really hate you two, but this is life, and I guess the best way for all my scars to heal is to take things in my stride. I will completely forget my existence from 1 August 2009 till today.

I'm reborn.

mabellim

Chuck Bass.

2010-11-09T23:46:00.002+08:00

“I’ve been acting like I’m okay, but I’m not. They say it’s a broken heart but I hurt in my whole body. What if I stay like this forever? What if I never get over Chuck?”
-- Blair Waldorf [Gossip Girl Season 4 “Belles de Jour”]

I feel like, I'm Blair. Just for this blog post.

mabellim

All I want for Christmas.

2010-11-09T11:34:00.003+08:00

I got this from Tumblr and imma post it here too. It's so beautiful it makes me wanna cry.

I want… A kiss. That’s all. And I want someone to silently be there with a camera and snap a candid picture of us kissing. Cause I feel like it’d be perfect. Your hands at my waist, mine at your neck. Maybe then people would realize that, even though it doesn’t seem like it, we really do love each other. I’m not talking about forever here. I just want to be seen as a legitimate couple, not a fair-weather couple. There are hard things about relationships and they can break people apart.

I love you, and there is very little that you can do to change that. You’re more than perfect for me. I wish you could see it. I always say I don’t deserve you because I feel like it’s true, I don’t think I deserve you. I always feel like you’re one wrong word away from leaving forever, and I don’t want that. I would fall apart again, and it would suck to realize that you were off with her again. I don’t want to be your backup plan. I really don’t. I deserve better than that.

I know that you think that I could do better, but in my opinion; I can’t. I love everything about you and I don’t want you to forget that. I feel like I’m writing this and it will go into the abyss of the internet and you’ll never see it, but that’s okay, because sometimes things need to be said. I know you always say that she’s not important, but she is, because she led me to you. I know you don’t want drama to start, but I don’t see why it has to become dramatic.

Be her friend, I don’t mind, I promise. Just as long as she doesn’t steal you away from me. I want you to be happy, and I want you to be around people who make you happy. I know this is hard for you to understand, but this is the only way I can get all of this out.

I love it when you touch my waist by accident. Or when we’re fighting and suddenly you kiss me. It’s crazy the things you do to me. I can kiss you, and everything bad about my day goes away. I can hug you, and suddenly feel safe. I don’t want you to leave me. Even though you claim you won’t, I’m still scared you will. Please don’t leave my side. I need you. ♥

Taken from: sweatpants

2010-11-08T23:23:00.000+08:00

mabellim

T is for Tumblr.

2010-11-05T01:21:00.001+08:00

I can has a Tumblr too!

http://mabelthebimbo.tumblr.com/

mabellim

Updates.

2010-11-02T22:10:00.003+08:00

Hi my life is still very messy..

I hate everything about love. I hate (fill in the blank). I hate to be lied to and I fucking hate those that go back on their words. Because of this, love and the person involved in it fucking screwed up my life.

I can't really remember how I was like recently. I only have my blog posts to remind me of how I was like: broken and all. It really was difficult just to even walk one step further in life. But I clearly remember that there was one day, I was crying non-stop. I was so angry. I was cursing you with any vulgarity that surfaced in my mind. I was so agitated. I wanted her to just fucking disappear from the face of the world.

But I realised how selfish it was. When I was ready, I calmed myself down and I got through this tough period. Thanks Nicollette I love you sooooo much (HELO ME PARO MI TIRE). Thanks Fhot for talking to me and constantly smsing me random stuff just to keep me distracted. And thanks to everyone else, for being there for me.

I am a stronger girl now. I've learnt that not everything is as simple as it seems, I've been kinda naïve at times, I've been kinda childish too, but in the end, what matters is that I've learnt so much about myself, and a final confirmation of my heart's innermost feelings.

I. Love. You. Still... :'(

I'm sleepy. I just slept for like 4-5 hours just now. And my aircon is leaking water. Translation: It's not working. Spoilt!!!

So... It's really stuffy in my room omg fuck my life indeed. ARGH.

Quite overdue picture. Thanks to Amelia who didn't upload until recently! Love your mum! Taken on Racial Harmony Day 2010 lol.

BT's birthday celebration. Drank and got high at Central office building that rooftop. Me and Cyrus left early coz underage ah can't club -_-

Ammar Cyrus Fred meeeeeee!

LAN. Who wna take picture with you?!

Jocelyn me Nicollette.

Hm we also celebrated Halloween 2010, where the inner ghosts in us came alive and roamed free on the streets of Clarke Quay. Went to Indochine and had a few drinks.

I'll cure you of any disease baby LOL nurse ;)

Jap ghost.

Chinese ghost, Nic, me, Jap school girl, Chinese vampire.

BT Ammar me! (I like Ammar's bunny ears!)

Voyage De La Vie lanterns (Y)

Poker cards lol (+ random girl in the middle -_-)

Camwhore in the toilet. I still got pics in my camera but I no memory card reader :(

And we took a pic with Jesus?

Court's expression so cute.

"WE FIX MEN!"

Nic trying to seduce me sia -turned on-

Chinese ghost reappears at the tombstone. Actually her head covered the joss sticks and red candles so can't see. It was rly kinda freaky :/

And there was this little devil. Super cute :D

Check my FB for more pics lah. Lazy upload all on my blog. It was kinda funnnn.

Class outing (KTV):

This is the only pic I have. UNICE! UPLOAD MORE PICS FROM YOUR PHONE!!!

Okay I'm rly fucking sleepy alr.

I'm kinda....

Cute at times. Heehee :)

You don't know, do you? That in a crowded place, my eyes will always be searching for you.

mabellim

FUCKING LIES.

2010-10-29T16:55:00.002+08:00

Fuck. Like real you understand.

I still have the text from someone, who said she PROMISED and SWORE not to contact him ever again.

mabellim

2010-10-27T19:33:00.002+08:00

I was reading our text history one month ago. You promised me something.

But as I read our texts on the bus just now, my heart sank.

I couldn't help but cry like a weakling before going to sleep yesterday. I know crying doesn't help to solve the problem. But I just have so many questions that I want to ask. I just need answers. Coz I'm at my lowest right now, and at this point of time, what really matters is honesty.

Yesterday, I cried for every question that I asked myself. Because I really don't know the answer and no one's telling me what's going on.

Do you know I feel so helpless and suicidal each time I think of that promise you made me?

Have you forgotten about it..? Guess you don't even know what I'm talking about.

Do you know how fucked up it feels when physical pain doesn't help anymore?

Do you know the torment that my mind and heart is going through? I'm so twisted up I can't even find myself anymore.

No one understands I swear.

It fucking sucks to be me and I'm crying as I'm typing this. What the fuck is wrong with me?! Am I supposed to be driven to madness and severe depression before you two are happy? JUST TELL ME!

My knee is getting from bad to worse. I think I'm going to get it checked again. Physiotherapy doesn't really help.

我的心很痛，真的很痛。

mabellim

Hazy days.

2010-10-23T10:20:00.000+08:00

Omg this is fucking funny. Nice (Y)

mabellim

To P...

2010-10-22T19:21:00.004+08:00

Today was yet another moodless day at school. I got the rest of my results back. My 2 Science subjects saved me. But Bio and Chem overall ain't that good also. I barely scraped through JC 1. I failed Math overall. U grade.

I think I met the promotion criteria, but I need to do much better than this. Not sure whether I'm one of the underperforming students or not. Sigh.

It's really difficult but I need to believe in myself.

I drown myself in numbness everyday and stare into space, just to let every morning turn into a cold, cold night where I just fall asleep with that pink rabbit in my arms. I hate you for accusing me of something I did not do. Yet, somehow, you manage to still effortlessly linger in my mind.

I tried my best already.

But since you say I didn't make you happy, I can't force anything anymore.

She has time for you. I don't, because my school constantly gives us tests projects and exams.

She always takes initiative to spend time with you. I didn't, because I was hurt and I didn't want to face you during my exams period.

She understands you. I don't, I can never understand why you can't just tell me the truth, even if it will hurt me.

She has something in her that made you unlove me. I don't have anything to make you continue loving me.

It's time for her to replace me in your life.

Everyone has to move on in life. Clearly, we have to do the same thing too. So stay happy always, you and her.

It's another weekend. I need to destress.

mabellim

This can't be saved.

2010-10-20T06:15:00.003+08:00

Too many scars from all the shit.

Once, I fell too deeply in love with this boy. He broke my heart many times in every single way possible. It's true, I made mistakes too. Everyone makes mistakes. But what matters is that we're willing to change. I have changed. I really regret my mistake. But.. Do you regret? Have you ever asked yourself if you changed? For the better or for the worse? Ask yourself.

And one day, when you found that I shut you out from my life, it's not because I didn't want you in it. It's because I had enough of your lies. White lies black lies colourful lies, WHATEVER. There's a limit to how much bullshit everyone can take in.

I gave you my heart, my love, everything. What more do you want?

Yes it did. Fairytales don't exist. Really.

You won't wanna know what word is in my mind now. Because you told me you've changed coz of me. You've changed since you met me. But I don't see it.

Ask me personally if you want to know what the word is. I'll bet you won't even text me to ask about this. Coz you don't bother taking initiative to text me. I didn't even receive a reply since last afternoon. Good job.

mabellim

2010-10-16T17:12:00.002+08:00

I don't know what I'm doing in life.

Goodluck with her, goodluck in whatever you do. 1 year may seem short but it's the countless and priceless memories that made everything so worth it. Move on alright, I'll be moving on with life too.

I have exceeded my limit, you didn't prove your love to me. Thanks for everything. Goodbye, boy, goodbye.

mabellim

Better In Time.

2010-10-15T01:18:00.003+08:00

Remember this..? It was your first month's present to me. I still have that 99th red straw heart in my wallet. It's gonna stay in my heart forever.

Over the past 1 year, I've learnt alot of things in life. I've learnt how it feels like to love. I've learnt how a heartbreak feels like. I learnt that not everything will be as good as it seems as compared to the start.

You know, you really gave me many memories. Happy, sad, funny etc. I really treasure them. As much as I treasure you. But I've been thinking for quite a long time already... Maybe, we're really not suited for each other. Maybe there's a better person out there for both of us. I love you, yes I still do. But it's painful at the same time. You should know what I'm talking about.

And now, I must learn how to be stronger. No more crying. My wound is raw and the pain is still tearing me apart. Pinkiepirate, I'm gonna miss you, but I have to try. Try to let go.

When you see this, (if you're still reading this blog,) my soul will probably still be lingering beside you, but I... I'm... Too hurt to let this continue.

Better In Time - Leona Lewis

It's been the longest winter without you
I didn't know where to turn to
See somehow I can't forget you
After all that we've been through

Going coming thought I heard a knock
Who's there no one
Thinking that I deserve it
Now I realize that I really didn't know
If you didn't notice you mean everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All I know is I'm gonna be OK

Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

I couldn't turn on the TV
Without something there to remind me
Was it all that easy
To just put aside your feelings

If I'm dreaming don't wanna laugh
Hurt my feelings but that's the path I believe in
And I know that time will heal it

If you didn't notice boy you meant everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All I know is I'm gonna be OK

Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

Since there's no more you and me
It's time I let you go
So I can be free
And live my life how it should be
No matter how hard it is I'll be fine without you
Yes I will

Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

mabellim

What am I supposed to do?

2010-10-10T20:40:00.003+08:00

Went out with Suxiang yesterday in the afternoon. Window shopping and all. Babe you have to pay me for accompanying you! :D Then we went steamboat for dinner with Cyrus Nicollette BT and Fred.

Went town awhile then drinking after that at Nic's house. Laughed alot hahahahahaaaaaa. I NEED TO UPLOAD PICTURES SOON! Fuck I lost my memory card reader. Zzz.

Okay I got a few things to say:

First of all, I hope Fhot's okay. Get well soon leh! And happy 18th birthday heehee. Love you to the max :)

Secondly, my life is fucking shitty.

Thirdly, all I ever wanted was to see you smile, so if I ain't making you smile now then I rather you walk away and start all over again.

Fourthly, I'm sick of quarrelling everyday.

The fifth and last thing I'm gonna say is, my trust in you keeps decreasing. I'm sorry if my smses sound cold or anything now. I'm sorry. I just can't find a reason to trust you now. Or anytime in the near future.

Got to find a reason to keep holding on.
-David Guetta (Love Is Gone)

What is my reason to hold on? I don't know, I'm confused and I don't want to know.

Going for physio tmr and the worst part is: I'm fucking going alone.

mabellim

Psycho.

2010-10-06T21:00:00.003+08:00

I am like, fucking sad frustrated hurt tired angry empty numb crazy crazy crazy psycho (as you said) depressed crazy psycho psycho psycho psycho crazy mad fucked frustrated hurt tired angry moodless tired sad hurt confused psycho and all other adjectives that currently describe me now. (I got limited vocab ok got problem? That's why have to repeat some words what)

I'm currently on medication and it makes me sleepy most of the time I have no idea why. Before that I'm still okay one leh. Fuck I need to study. Yesterday cry until like one kpkb kia then read notes no mood fell asleep until this morning.

Wake up thought to myself, "Okay fuck my Bio is screwed". Chiong prepare for school and study on the way there. I hope I do okay. Lucky I didn't think of anything else during the exam.

OKAY LAH FUCK LA I HOPE THE WIND BRINGS MY SOUL AWAY TO SOME PLACE WHERE I CAN REST ONE AND FOR ALL LAH. FUCKING GOING TO BE COLD HEARTED FROM NOW ON.

Fuck my life because I am psycho.

But on top of everything else, I miss you.

mabellim

Cycle.

2010-10-04T23:47:00.002+08:00

I just bled. I have a dead heart now. I want to go for surgery for my knees so that the anesthesia will put me to sleep for awhile.

mabellim

Love oversees all past mistakes.

2010-10-03T15:18:00.005+08:00

I think I'm mentally unsound. Seriously.

Here I am sitting in front of my computer, digging at my own durian mooncake, thinking of what I should do after promos. I need to like.. Oh my god the more I think the more hurt I get. Ugh.

Should I let go or should I not? If I don't, I will continue to inflict hurt on myself (not physically okay). But at the end of the day, I guess no one can really understand how I feel for him. It's like a pull-and-push kinda thing. I don't know how to describe it. After we're okay, I see things that I don't want to. Then we're not okay. We WANT to be okay. But the current situation does not permit our relationship to be free of doubt. I know it, and he knows it too.

I wonder I can really get an answer. I wonder when I can open up my heart again to love, without any inch of doubt. I wonder when this love will die off because to be honest I'm so scared it will gradually turn into nothing. I'm so afraid and the pain inside is killing me. It really is.

Does anyone understand me? Because I really feel so alone even though I have wonderful friends in my life. I'm so afraid that I will slowly turn into someone I don't know. I'm so afraid that I will lose the ability to trust humans and stop smiling and turn into a depressed fucked up girl. Can anyone really hear me and feel me?

I was looking through my old photos from my camera (omg I realised I don't really use that cam now) and I found Mothers' Day photos from last year or the year before. And I found a loving picture of my grandpa kissing my grandma.

I wonder how they managed to endure everything together and how they can last until now. It's so sweet, seeing pictures of happy old couples. Just to know that someone will always be there for you, to hold your hand and walk down the road of life together, to comfort you when you are sad, to hug you when you need to feel reassured again, to kiss you endearingly when you just want to feel loved all over again.

And now the song "Hard To Say I'm sorry" is playing on my iTunes. I feel kinda sad.

I need to rewire my brain, I need to stop being paranoid. But I can't. Sorry. I feel like there's a black hole consuming my heart slowly.

Okay I'm going to endure this last lap and chiong through promos. Goodluck everyone :)

mabellim

Breathe.

2010-09-30T22:32:00.002+08:00

For those wondering... The design I'm talking about is this. Like nice leh, I like. I found the picture off the web a long time ago. LOL but I wna change to bunny don't know nice anot. Coz I don't really want a bleeding teddy :(

Aiya it's still too soon to talk about details blahblah. Just sharing the design.

OMG 8 more days till liberation FUCK YEAH.

But exams ain't the end of my problems.

mabellim

A few more days!!!

2010-09-23T19:50:00.002+08:00

Fuck damn long didn't touch this blog alr. But don't worry, I never die! I'm fine. Hehe just that I'm busy mugging. My blog is suuuper boring now I know.

I've decided to get inked! I needa save $$$ omg. Haha and what will everyone say about this? Especially if my parents find out. This year or next year? I alr decided on the design. Roarrr~

mabellim

Imagine.

2010-09-11T02:37:00.003+08:00

You're walking along a deserted path. No one, not a single sign of life, nothing that you can detect. The wind's icy cold fingers brush past your face, its nails touch your cheek, as though it was making scratches on your face. Frost bites are the only thing you feel. It's painful.

As you walk on, the wind playfully messes with your hair. There's still no one. On the two sides of the lonely path, rows and rows of trees are the only things you see. The rotting tree trunks disturb your inner peace. Tree barks flaking off, moist leaves fall to the floor. Don't you feel dejected?

You're still walking. Amongst the dense fog, a hut seems... Near. There's a fire place in there. You know you'd be warm inside. But hesitation stops you in your tracks. Something's not quite right. You don't know, whether to continue walking or not. Is this confusion that you feel?

And all of a sudden, someone close to you appears in your thoughts. It feels strangely familiar, yet estranged. What's going on, you don't know. Why? As you imagine him speaking to you, a wave of calmness surges through you. Then small talks become quarrels, quarrels turn into fights. You're tired. Do you wave away your thoughts or keep imagining?

The scene changes. You're in the hut. He's here with you, you're in his arms. Everything seems okay. So serene, with slow music playing in the background. It's both of your favourite song. Then the hut's windows shatter. It's as though you can feel the glass shards pierce through your heart.

And that's when you jerk awake.

Was it just a dream? Yes it was, you assure yourself. You lie back on the pillow. And start to dream again.

It's a cycle. It hurts. It hurts to feel like this.

mabellim

Picture post.

2010-09-02T05:43:00.000+08:00

Long time no have pictures on my blog orready. Study study study ah. JIAYOU EVERYONE.

Study session at Nicollette's house.

And Courtney's smelly leg! >:(

Hahaha after my study session with Fhot in school. We played with the visualiser and projector screen thingy lalala.

Kissy.

We're so cute (Y)

Shopping with Fhot and Suxiang after Teachers' Day Celebration.

I got a pair of F21 shorts :)

Zi lian shitx.

Heehee iie lurbb eeu.

Time to sleep and chiong studies again tmr. And the whole of next month basically. It. Will. Be. Worth. It. (I hope)

mabellim

Nothing without you.

2010-08-30T20:04:00.002+08:00

Here's a little story I gotta tell,

'bout this boy I know so well.

I don't wanna be stuck in the past

But you're all that I have and I had

And I don't wanna lose what we've felt this far

This is me and you, you're my superstar

But what's been going on these few days, the past few months, it's confusing me. It's been depleting the trust between us. If only there was some kind of assurance to both of us. If only we could go back to the past. I don't wanna continue feeling this way, but we're all humans and not void of thoughts and emotions.

FUCK. Anyway.

Imma upload pics soon. More pics less words. Yes. Currently at Nicollette's house. She's cooking dinner! HEEHEE.

I THINK COURTNEY IS SUPER AWESOME AND SHE SHOULD DATE JUSTIN BIEBER!

Gotta see your face some more. And... Basically, I love him. End of story.

mabellim

Tell me yours and I'll tell you mine.

2010-08-25T21:03:00.003+08:00

I've never reflected on life so much before. I pondered during classes, I thought as I walked, I shut myself out from the rest of the world today.

Zoning out into the humid afternoon, my mind wandered back to the past. Where I was genuinely happy, where I could easily smile at the slightest things that he said, where I could laugh at his actions and basically, everything else. I was happy with my family, until some stuffs happened and it made us drift apart. Now, each time I see them, I feel like I've disappointed them.

Why was I easily satisfied last time? What about now?

If anyone is reading this at all, tell me what to do. If you know I'm referring to you, I miss you, I love you, but I have a whole string of thoughts to share with you.

There's always 2 sides to a story. What's yours? I'm being paranoid. I need to die.

And now that you've said it's over, it doesn't feel good at all. Not a single part of me feels good.

mabellim

Just for you, anything is worth the fight.

2010-08-21T19:29:00.004+08:00

HARRO. Sup people? :) I'm feeling goOoOoOoOd. But I needa memorise all the Econs determinants that shift all the dumb curves -_-

Am heading to town later to catch The Expendables (I think?) later with the usual. Crazy Nicollette included!!! HAHA!

What happened last week:

P.E. on Tuesday. Badminton! Play until my ass and arms got muscle ache :/

Retarded Auhcailema!

Heehee me got the badminton racket with baby pink handle. (Y)

Fhot wrote this on the Bio practice paper.

Fuck you Fhot.

KCM KCM KCM. Fhot's face should be the above pic, and mine should be clear and pimple-free :D

But sadly that's not the case lah. I still going thru pubertyyyy hehehe. Fuck those pimples zzz. BOOBS GROW BIGGER LEH! Lawls :)

During Econs lecture break time. Camwhore lor. Nth to do.

Amelia.

Cute Mabel. I'm so ego I know. Can't be helped ;)

(Y)

We're so bored we're gna die~

OH YA ehehehe during Chem tutorial Mrs Lim was showing us some C=C double bond. I plucked the sp orbital out and made bunny ears outta them!

Like mouse leh. The ear not long enough :( thought I could look like my Pinkiepirate for once.

I think like 1+ more month to study every single shit for my promos. Idk why I'm so weak now, can't tahan all the stress and everything, I feel like giving up everytime I see a failure mark for quizzes or tests, Or when I do my homework, I see those questions that idk how to do then I just stone and waste my whole day away.

I really wna pass my promos and I know you reap what you sow, so if I want to pass I have to buck up and put effort in. I haven't even started revision and we're still having new lectures for shit like Genetic Variation, or Sequences and Series?

Here I am, wasting my precious time away. Fuck it? Here I am watching my life fleet past me. Closely looking at how people dress when they go to town, taking my own sweet time to appreciate the flickering lamp post near my house. It's kinda lovely, and yet the feeling of loneliness sets in pretty quickly. Walking on the street with my earphones fitted into my ears, listening to music and every single rhythm that makes up the whole song. Smoking the night away, watching how the secondhand smoke disappears into the darkness. And basically living life as it is.

Idk how I'm gna catch up. I want to pass. I really want to. And I'm so afraid I don't have time to spend with family, friends and even him.

I don't wanna feel the way that I do,
I just wanna be right here with you.

mabellim

I FUCKING HATE ECONS.

2010-08-15T17:12:00.004+08:00

Bitch man. I hate promos. I hate education.

Seesha on Fri night with the usual people, slack at Nicollette (the Crazy's) house on Sat night.

I still remember this photo :)

Then supper with Baby Wong after slacking. Stupid guy kept debating with me over food.

Does anyone else think I'm weird? Because I eat only omelette but not other types of eggs, because I eat fried sotong with salted egg yolk but not plain white sotong found in those hokkiem mee or sth?

Hehe and we were both laughing at random stuff. Like suddenly inhale laughing gas ah. DRILL UR MOM LA BABY.

Vectors test tmr, ace it girl! (Y) I really hope I can pass lah pls. Pls pls pls.

Babe I miss you :(

I can't control her liking you or not
But.
You can control the whole situation

I feel like. Idk la I need constant reassurance and security. I'm trying my best alr.

Someone please. Help. Please.

mabellim

Trying to reach out as far as I can.

2010-08-12T21:48:00.003+08:00

Fhot date!

This was on National Day celebration day. I forgot which date was it alr. Thurs/Fri? Nvm, anyway hehe met Fhot at town after my trip to the polyclinic (for my knee rmb). Shopping and lots of catching up! Walked alot. My knees gave way when I reached home lol.

What's Fhot tryna do. Aiyo. Somemore so vigorous the action. From FEP to Ion to 313. We always travel by the same route.

Fhot, I'm bored of you.

NAH JUST KIDDING I LOVE YOU :)

Camwhores :D

Shopping at F21 @ 313 AGAIN :) Heehee I ruv my dresses. Thanks Fhot for helping me choose them!

Had steamboat during the weekends for dinner with Nicollette BT Parry Cyrus. I like black pepper crabmeat! I wna go again! We watched Avatar: The Last Airbender very cool! The boyboy so cute, LIKE ME.

And The Crazies also (the 'zombies' crazy like Nicollette), I jumped a few times. But I think the ending quite dumb leh, why walk into another isolated area again -_-

During Gen's PW Focus Group Discussion. Hehe.

Oh ya went to study Vectors and Bio SPA with Nicollette and Cyrus, omg I saw his dog! Its a Shiba Inu. REALLY DAMN CUTE it's called Riddle. I want a dog toooo :( I think next year then can get.

Riddle so cute.

Heeee :) don't see my face la like so cui.

Then after studying we cooked Indo Mee at Nicollette's house. Scrambled egg.

Corn with chilli powder. Shiok ttm!

Indo Mee~~~

Dearest Auhcailema with cotton candy.

Daymmm I v long nv eat alr. Cause tooth decay ah I scared. Last time I had one cavity when I was in Pri 1, it felt like the end of the world lah.

Fucking hate visits to the doctor and dentist. Zzz.

Today, me Adalyn and Jiafang went to Coro Starbucks because 1 year ago we promised each other that we would meet up on this date (12 Aug), no matter what, to hangout at Starbucks together. I still remember 1 year ago, we were crapping all the way throughout AEP lessons, hahaha. All those fond memories awww (Y)

FML sia tmr I got Bio SPA test. I SCARED. Hahah. Then next Monday is Vectors lecture test. Fffffff!

Ego moment here: I'm so cute :)

(No lah I was acting retarded.)

Ok bye!

mabellim

Wake up, Mabel.

2010-08-07T22:44:00.002+08:00

My right knee has started hurting since idk when. I'm going for an X-Ray sometime next month. Hope nothing major's happening with my knee. Lol.

My promotional exams are just around the corner. Shit, I just realised, 2 more months to re-learn everything that I'm unsure of. And also absorb new stuff taught during lectures.

I'm really stressed up. I mean, who isn't?

But I'm still not taking things seriously. Yes, I do my tutorials and I try to listen in lectures. But I'm not focused right now. I just want to play. And spend time with all my friends. Oh god, lucky I'm meeting Cyrus and Nicollette to study next week.

I need to get focused on my studies just for these 2 months. Because my grades aren't good at all. I'm just talking about myself. Not comparing to other people or what, okay.

Night life has got to lessen/stop until October 10. No more movies. No more slacking. But this means I'll be spending less time with my friends and him.

Will I be replaced in these 2 months? I don't know. Will things change in these 2 months? I really don't know. Will I get promoted and not disappoint my parents? I can't even bear to think o it.

I'm so afraid, tears can't stop flowing whenever I think about love family and studies. I'm so glad that my girlfriends are always there for me.

I just want to be... Happy.

mabellim

1 August 2010

2010-08-02T23:08:00.003+08:00

Harro. Fuck those emo shit on my blog. It needs some life. Uhm where should I start from. Okay I think I'll just post like a few pics here and there (as usual).

I still think Racial Harmony is the LAMEST event ever. But I still wore the costume since our class people were wearing. Hmm. I like my black kimono! This pink one is my sisters. Go to my March 2009 archives for the pic of the black one! :)

Aye konnichiwa. 我是日本人！Watashi wa hungry desu.

Fugly retarded face I have. I keep doing this face to Nicollette :)

Last week, me and Shawn went to town. Shopped and went to look at his Bottega Veneta wallet. I love high-end window shopping. Lololol :/ Then went to Cine to look see. Went to Rockstar and heheh I swiped my NETS card again. Oops :x

OMG haha I love my new Keep shoes. Cute right :D Stupid Nicollette and Parry keep saying I have fat shoes :(

And my new pair of Toms! Bernice showed it to me and I fell in love with this colour. Love at first sight sia. So the next week I bought it. Heheheh.

Shall take pic when I'm wearing my these two new babies. Show off to the world lulz.

Hmm. Recall 1 August 2009? Why, some may ask? What's so special about that date?

Because yesterday, 1 August 2010, marked the day where I first met him exactly one year ago. It marks the time we've spent together. Exactly one year.

And I never thought I'd become so attached to this boy. It's funny how time seems to fly past when we're having fun together, with each others' company to make everything more worthwhile.

Just talking to him about anything under the sun makes me fall in love with him a little more each day. Not to mention tickling each other in bed and having stupid quarrels. Everything that we do. Everything that we say. Everything. Means so much to me.

We went to Chili's @ Tanglin Mall for dinner on 31 July 2010. Yumyum. I like the molten chocolate cake! Question: Does chocolate make you fat? He says no it depends, I still think it does leh, no matter what percentage of cocoa is in the chocolate. Haha.

Doing the gourmet-with-the-pinky pose. Hahah :)

Then went to Playnation to find Nicollette BT Glenn Bernice and Ammar. We spent the whole night there playing board games and console games. Shall post the pics when Nicollette uploads 'em on Facebook. Got a damn funny video of some of them playing Wii!

Went home, fell asleep, got woken up by him coz he couldn't sleep. So we talked. I just love nights/mornings like this, where we both talk about random nothings until one of us falls asleep in each other's arms...

Watched Inception on Sun night. Still 1 Aug ah! Anyway, the movie. Is. Damn. Awesome. Shiet manz requires alot of thinking and brains to come up with the concept of inception and dreams and all that. And a dream in a dream. Damn zai.

Went back home after that and FML the next day was school. Nevertheless, I had a great 1 year anniversary.

Remember these two Despicable ME minions I took from Cine? They're still on my table. You & me!

I LOVE YOU. God I couldn't contain that. I just had to type it out.

Happy 1 year anniversary, Parry Wong :) JUST BECAUSE I GOT FAT SHOES DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN MAKE ME STOP LOVING YOU!

I love you again :)

mabellim

Fuck my life

2010-07-27T22:43:00.004+08:00

Can't remember what happiness used to feel like
Don't know what security is
We used to hold each other so tightly
And now what's left is doubt

Sweet, sweet rose:
You cut my heart with your thorns
It's okay. Because I love the way you lie.
Most importantly, I still love you.

mabellim

I'm that girl.

2010-07-25T22:13:00.004+08:00

Everyone makes mistakes
I did, you did too
I regret deeply
But it does not bring back the past

This is a story of a girl:

"We'd live every moment of the future together."

She used to think that way. She had that thought every single day. But as time passed, her mind started wavering. She didn't know what to do, for the best of both parties.

Sometimes, she felt like she was a total burden, some clingy asshole who simply refused to let go, and it was his soft-heartedness just made him keep talking to her. She doesn't want to be part of his burdens.

She would rather he tell her that he doesn't want her anymore. It beats not knowing when to let go. At least, if he told her, it'd be easier for her.

She just wants to know what's real and what's not. To keep believing, or not? To keep hanging on, or... Make his life easier (and maybe happier?) by walking away?

Rain as never-ending tears
Thunder as loud cries

And all I need is
A blanket; your warmth

Don't let anyone feel like you don't deserve what you want. You're what I want, yet you make me feel like I don't deserve you.

Fuck, I'm not liking the way how things are going.

mabellim

Tell me this ain't true.

2010-07-23T21:25:00.002+08:00

Why? Why is it always me, to be the one who takes initiative for almost everything?

Is it because I'm just another path, another road that you could choose, from the rest of the pathways? Is it because I'm simply a joke. Hanging on to something that alot of people have been telling me, "Are you sure it's gonna work out?"

Sometimes the things that people say, make me feel like, when I'm needed then I'm wanted. When I'm not needed, I just get thrown aside like a piece of used tissue paper or something.

mabellim

Tell me, I promise I'll listen.

2010-07-23T00:33:00.002+08:00

I edited this photo on my own! Used a street pic that I took in Thailand, played around with the lightings and added the text.

I'm so happy that Group Giraffe has completed its Focus Group Discussion for Project Work! Super satisfied with it :) Thanks people, for staying up together last night to finalise everything. Heehee.

I've completed Vectors tutorial 6A. And attempted to do TYS for Integration. Keep it up and I'm gna pass promos with all 'A's! JUZ JOKING IF I CAN GET LIKE 'D' OR 'C' I VERY HAPPY LIAOZ. But no seriously, I did my work, wasn't joking about that hahaha.

Now I'm tryna make sense of what little remains.

I'm not listening to everyone else, not because I don't want to. I'm just choosing what I perceive to be happiness.

Anything that's worth having, its sure worth fighting for.
Quitting's out of the question, when it gets tough gotta fight some more.

我爱你。I hope you see this. And realise how much I love you no matter what. I hope one day things will be back to how those 6 months were like. I hope one day I get what I'm wishing for.

I hope I can kill myself for killing your heart. No one ever knows how much cutting hurts, until you do it to yourself.

This. Must. Not. Become. A. Habit.

Everyone has their own stories. What's yours?

mabellim

I like to sleep.

2010-07-20T22:46:00.003+08:00

Eh good morning ah everiibaddy. My blog very boring I also know lah. My eyes feel like closing everyday even now as I'm typing this. I get tired easily. Pig.

I was just browsing through my FB pics and saw alot of OVERDUE pictures that Fhot tagged me in. Ah the old times. When we used to quarrel about who's taller, hotter, sexier and all that. I miss it. Comparing NY Sec 4 life to JC life, I think I can safely say that it's really damn slack in NYGH!

Shitxz I wna go back to Sec 4 end of years period! SIAAAAN to the max :(

(Hey I noticed it's 11:11pm now. I miss you.)

Sunglasses used to be my head accessory. Oh god haha I hate my curly hair zxzxzzxzxzxzx.

Haha I find this photo particularly amusing, idk why. Maybe coz of Fhot's hair! :D

I miss you Fhot. I miss having hthts with you. I know I haven't been meeting you up recently. I'm just afraid I can't keep up with the school workload. I know I always say I'm not keeping up with your life, and no I'm not saying it is bottom in my priority list.

Sucks man I wished I had more time for everyone in the world.

Nicollette's favourite wallpaper for her Blackberry! :)

Drinking session that day + Little Big Planet! I look like a super coolioxz girl. Me likey these mega specs. Guess where we got it from.

Some random guy's apartment. (He hung it outside his door)

Uh ok nothing else alr leh. I WANT TO SLEEP ALR LA.

Amelia and Gen took these photos while I was sleeping in GP lesson today ooooooops. They thought I was biting my bag while sleeping haha damn cute ah you two.

Tak glam!

I super love my cross earring!

Nabeh I got blister while having PE. Its underneath my big toe on the right foot. Damn pain I can't walk properly lah.

Unice, cheer up. Think of me and smile! Love you :)

OKKK GOODNIGHT sleepy already. Bye!

I wished the world was void of sadness & desperation, full of dreams & hopes, and filled with laughter & joy.

mabellim

Hey. I failed my Maths also. FML.

2010-07-18T18:15:00.003+08:00

Anyways, weekends have been okay.

Went drinking at Nicollette's house. I played Little Big Planet on PS3 with those who were there. So fun pulling their character along with me! :D And we played GTA 4 too. Going around whacking prostitutes HAHA!

Just thought I'd share my current favourite song with everyone.

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing...
Just prayed to a god that I don't believe in.
I got time while she's got freedom,
'cause when a heart breaks, no it don't break even.

mabellim

I'm still afraid.

2010-07-13T20:03:00.003+08:00

I got Chem remedial tmr and bowling. Oh god.

Taken in Genting (2009)

I can't frickin' wait to go overseas at the end of the year again.

mabellim

NEED TO BUCK UP.

2010-07-12T22:59:00.005+08:00

YO. After blocks me and the M gang went to ice skate (minus Maria booooo). Fun but quite boring coz we just skate around the small space. And my feet were hurting coz the stupid skates were like tight fitting and ugh. My feet hurt after that :( But we had alot of fun and I was learning to skate backwards, abit fail leh.

Ehhh ya pictures,

Fhot don't know how to skate properly! Haha so cute sia. Love you anyway. TO THE MAX. Cheer up Fhot, I'll always be there for you. Talk to me anytime k! Don't worry even if you're smsing me at ungodly hours, I'll still reply! Can't wait for the flea! Whee :)

Me and Qiaohui. Mitchy matchy clothes! Endured the cold air with only FBT shorts hehehe. Love!

And me and Michelle. She don't know how to skate, that's why in this picture she almost fell down. LOL JK WE WERE POSING.

M Gang! ♥

Me and Fhot spamming pics at Forever 21 @ 313. Lazy to upload all the pics. Go my FB see! :D

RETAIL THERAPY AFTER A STRESSFUL WEEK OF BLOCK TESTS IS THE SEX. Shopping indeed cures depression. I got the cute owl ring that I've been wanting too! I found it by chance, damn lucky heheh :)

Uh, Fri and Sat night was the usual. Out at night with the clique. Talked cock as usual. Watched movies and spent quality time tgt with him hehe :) Ordered pizza for lunch/dinner. And slept in until evening, I woke up and didn't see him beside me. Thought he left the house :( I quote him ah: im like a little lost sheep! :D

Despicable ME :)

I was imitating this scene in the lift in Cineleisure. He said I was cute. AWW~~~ *rolls around in bed like a dumbfuck* I WANT A UNICORN TOO.

And I watched Predators alr too. The ending like a lame leh, didn't tell us how they got out of the planet -_-

Sch tmr giving back Math paper roar. Did I mention that I needa go for Chem remedial with my shitty results of 25.5/100? (Ya must put in red like a fail grade in report books)

Yeah, omg, I think of my results, I like damn demoralised until laosai lor. Zzz.

mabellim

Admit it.

2010-07-07T23:03:00.006+08:00

To those saying that love are for fools only, you are the ones stupid enough to think that you can survive without it. I'm not even talking about those boy-girl-relationships kind of love. Just L-O-V-E in general. Don't keep lying to yourselves. This is what holds the world together, this is what makes us want to keep on living. Admit it, we all need love.

Omg my eyes like shutting. Why so super sleepy today.

Went town with Fhot after school today. Omg haven't been shopping with this crazy girl since dk when alr. Hahah, caught up with her at FEP. Babe, thanks for the shopping trip today! WOOHOO I am using your phrase WOOHOO :)

I swear my knee caps are failing me. The joint area feels like old women's joints! :(

Anyway we went to 313 and spent most of our time at Forever 21 and Zara. I got 4 pieces of clothes! SUPER loveee. And I saw Xiaxue at 313 too! :D

Okay I need to sleep srsly byebye.

mabellim

Tsamina mina, eh eh.

2010-07-07T00:15:00.004+08:00

Shits, Waka Waka by Shakira is stuck in my head. Kept dancing to that song during P.E. just now while playing basketball

-imitates her 'indian' dance-

TSAMINA MINA EH EH~~~
WAKA WAKA EH EH~~~

Went shopping with Nicollette, Courtney and Gladys yesterday. We went Ion (New Look) for accessories. I wanted to buy so many stuff but settled for one necklace and one bracelet that Nicollette picked out for meeeee :D

Met up with Jas at Taka for a while, smoked and talked then she had to go back to work from her "toilet break" HAHA.

Then to Cine (Leftfoot) to get my new school shoes! Whee then BT came to find us at Marche @ 313 Somerset for dinner. Gladys so cute hahah she calls me Stinkiepirate! :(

We didn't have time to shop at Topshop and Forever 21. And see Zara. Zzzz. Tmr going town with Fhot, I MISS YOU LEH so long never go out alr. LOL since like bowling chalet or sth I think! :O

Me and my sister, Courtney :) cute faces we have hahaha.

I went to Nicollette's house for dinner today. Her mum made nice Indo beefball noodle soup thing (Y) Played with the two hyper kids luh. Felt like a child all over again, sometimes I wished I could go back in time. I don't have alot of memories from my childhood :(

My monkey boy, Dennis :)

HELLO DENNIS FOURARMS BENTEN!

Okay school again tmr. Bleah bye.
mabellim

Hold me tight, hold me close.

2010-07-05T00:04:00.008+08:00

HelloOoOoOoOoO. It's been long since I've blogged. BECUZ OF BLOCK TESTS. Waste of time, got study like never study only -_-

Me and Unice mugged at Starbucks each session. The first two days DAMN productive. Chiongsters all the way for 6/7 hours. Then when block test started, we mugged after school but sibei unproductive. Like fuck care lor.

MATH MATH MATH. INTEGRATION. Walaooo. Study till damn hard, then all the examples that I did also never come out. Only one or two. NB.

Day 2: Caramel Frappe :D with whipped cream and caramel zueh zueh. SHIOK TTM.

Went to play pool after Mugging Day 2.

Stupid face, candid shot from Unice.

Crazy bitch broke the wall.

LOL JK. I DID IT.

This is the cbf (couldn't be fucked) face. Studying for Math after Econs paper.

We love huggies.

Be in my arms will you? :) Haha eh sian I look like a lame.

And I doodled these 2 pics while mugging lol.

Abit fail, don't like don't comment ah.

Okay lah 1 week passed quite fast coz we were all chionging mugging, so end of block tests came quite fast tooooooo. Unice went home with me after the last paper. (What subject was it again? I can't rmb)

OH YA BIO. Haha.

Then we had lunch at Holland V and it was gna rain. So we went home and waited for rain to stop. Wanted to go town at ard 1pm. But the rain + lack of sleep made us fall asleep. Until 6pm. (Y)

Went to town for dinner at like 9pm only. Hehe.

Otw to town! I like my 白 face.

Retarded.

Jasline Nicollette Mabel :) Hehe taken on the weekend before block tests started.

This was after block tests! Not much pics though :( aiya want see go Facebook see la.

Nathalie me Nicollette!

So long didn't see you alr hahah.

And me with Kesley. Fuck my arms look fat here lah :(

SO CUTE leh I wna watch Despicable ME.

I watched Repo Man, woa got some sick scenes.

AND I WATCH ECLIPSE ALR teehee.

When I was hungry, you cooked korean maggi mee for us to eat. When I whined at you to stop playing computer games, you did and let me watch American Dad. And when my neck was in pain, you massaged it for me. When I was feeling cold and shivery all over, you hugged me to sleep. Like Jacob :D

I prefer Edward though.

To my Edward Cullen: I love you and I wanna live like this forever with you :)

mabellim

All I've got is nothing without you...

2010-06-28T20:06:00.003+08:00

Block tests have started. I'll post photos up after block tests or sth. K? :)

When I was drunk a few weeks ago, I had the capability to think about what happened in the past. I was kinda awake. I could think of it, but I couldn't change it. I feel so bad about myself. It's like a scar on his heart that will never heal.

This land is a better land, if you're in my world.

And I don't wanna lose what we built this far
This is me and you, you're my superstar
I'd give anything, baby, here's my heart..

mabellim

Life's like that.

2010-06-25T03:00:00.003+08:00

I've never studied SO MUCH in one day in my entire life before. Me and Unice camped at Plaza Sing's Starbucks for 7 whole hours. Fuck, on top of that, I got more stuff to handle. My brain needs a rest.

Went to play pool awhile with Nicollette they all. I love talking to you babe, thanks for being here! :)

Study again with Unice at Starbucks, anyone kind enough to come down to give us moral support? Haha, I guess not.

How is is possible that I've never cried so much in my life before?

Sometimes I wish I could just watch myself from another person's point of view, and laugh at myself. And I can be like, "Oh my god Mabel's so.. Stupid." I can laugh at my foolishness, my childishness, and my delusional self.

mabellim

Only time will tell.

2010-06-22T05:59:00.002+08:00

Harro world! I've been studying Econs and Chem and Bio. I totally haven't touched Maths FML. I still haven't finished Bio. And I guess HCJC students are all counting down to Block Tests. 6 more days. WHY HOLIDAYS END SO FAST KNN :(

Time flies man. BORING LIFE. I want shopping nao.

mabellim

It's time to be strong, Mabel.

2010-06-21T09:53:00.002+08:00

Why can't the world let me have what I want? Instead, it gives me things that I did not ask for. Like pain, sorrow, guilt etc. But I've also been given a caring family, a bunch of great friends, and a boy, someone special to me, someone whom I can proudly tell everyone that I love.

I know what my heart wants. It is him. I can't be greedy, so I shan't ask anything more from the world.

But, I also know that... I'll fight for what I want.

mabellim

You matter a lot to me.

2010-06-20T14:47:00.001+08:00

If you ever still read my blog, and because you haven't replied, I already knew what to say to you the moment I texted you. The thing is, it's what you want to say to me.

mabellim

Hey...

2010-06-20T03:35:00.004+08:00

If you ever feel like replying me, I'll be awake. Waiting. I'm still thinking about that phone call. It's been keeping me awake.

You asked. Why did I run? To escape from reality.

mabellim

What I like about you...

2010-06-16T21:11:00.002+08:00

I like the way you smell when you spray on your perfume.

I like the way you style your hair with Gatsby wax.

I like the way you curse and swear when someone noob is playing Dota with you.

I like the way you act when you're trying to imitate or irritate me, when I said something funny.

Basically, I ~~like~~ love everything about you.

But I hate it when..

When we have to part. It makes my heart feel lonely because I just can't get enough of you.

mabellim

This is torture.

2010-06-16T01:12:00.002+08:00

Even though I've met you, even though you live so near me, it still doesn't seem enough. Idk if you know it or not, but, tonight's one of those nights where I'm missing you so goddamn badly.

Something's wrong with me. I feel like I needa catch a glimpse of you everyday... It'll be better if.. Haha. I guess some things aren't meant to be posted online. I'll keep those thoughts to myself :)

Sounds freaky? :/ That's coz I rly miss you even though we met like a few days ago :'(

mabellim

I got high.

2010-06-15T00:57:00.003+08:00

Hi. Friday was fun. Baking then went party at Azzura @ Siloso Beach.

Stupid LAN cookies! Nom, but they were nice though! And white chocolate lava cake! Yaaay :D

I look like a fuckface coz I was high. That's Nicollette :)

And my top got wet coz I anyhow walked under the jet of water. So here's me in bikini. LAN. My body like lobster red.

But the party ended early. Like 2 hours early. Zzz.

Today was class GEMS (some learn your own module thing) so we went to play archery. Photos not with me. So.. Too bad. Anyway, it was quite fun. But I only hit like around the bullseye area a few times. Not even exactly on the bullseye but yeah.

Class photo! (Minus a few guys) Our class is dominated by girls!

Then we went for STJ (seniors treat juniors) at Seoul Garden @ Marina Square! The place damn smelly. Smelt like dno what after the whole thing. Zzz.

Me Amelia Felicia! WE WANT FOOD.

My face spoil and pimples many many :( Amelia cooking beef + omelette for me! Love :D

See! Doesn't look appetising but it's nice ok! Plus ketchup even nicer (Y)

And I'm happy to say I mugged for Chemistry alr. Haven't practice open ended questions yet but I've done TYS MCQ alr. WOOHOO 1 down! YESSSS now must tackle Biology and Math. Bitch! Fuck.

Imy!

mabellim

I love you a little more each time.

2010-06-11T15:38:00.002+08:00

YAY FOR FRIDAY.

YAY you're back back back.

YAY white chocolate lava cake coming up soon!

YAY then I think we're going Surge II after that :)

BEST DAY OF MY HOLIDAYS WOOHOO.

mabellim

Soon.

2010-06-07T23:13:00.005+08:00

Woohoo one week of June holidays passed! And I didn't study at all. Only read through Bio and Chem lecture tests yesterday. Srsly lor walao I could have done better for Chem. ARRRGH so irritating.

Went to Queensway Shopping Centre with Fhot today. I got a black tongue stud from there haha. Then walked to Ikea for meatballs. Been hearing nice reviews about their meatballs so I went to try, but abit disappointed. Okok only leh not THAT delicious.

My face like abit chubby EEE I look weird. Yucks I need to go trim my eyebrows soon. Like say, tmr? :D

MEATBALL NOM!

Haha! Went to Vivo after that. Fhot A.K.A. wannabe soccer player.

I got this bag from Warehouse! I luv Great Singapore Sale to the maxxx :D I got the bag at like 70% off YAY. I got it for $39, guess the original price! CHEAP CHEAP hahahahaha.

(Ok lah I poor can? Cheapo abit cannot ah.)

I WANT THIS SHIRT!!! From River Island but $83 leh sian need to beg for money on the streets. And stupid Fhot down there making faces hahaha.

Went to play LAN (hahahaaaaaaa lan) a few nights ago. Killing Floor shiok ah. I think I like it more than Left 4 Dead 2 alr. Use knife melee ah, someone? :)

Thanks for taking a particular issue off my mind. Thanks, give love many many! :)

And soon you'll be back :)

mabellim

I'm waiting.

2010-06-03T15:00:00.003+08:00

How are your holidays so far? Mine's been great :) Erm other than the fact that my aircon is still spoilt. Fuck I woke up sweating today.

On Tuesday I went to my hairdresser's to rebond. (Ah, finally.) Suxiang went also. To dye her fringe brown haha.

I still have pong pong hair :(

I look like Little Red Riding Hood! Frickin' process took 3 hours to complete. Had to tahan the smell of the chemicals. Zzz.

After Round 1 of putting chemicals. My hair looks much more tamed.

I didn't bother taking much pics after that. Fast forward k?

I kinda like the way my hair smells after rebonding. Chemical-ish ahaha.

I CAN PROUDLY SWISH MY HAIR ABOUT WITHOUT WORRYING ABOUT IT GETTING MESSY! HAHAHA BEAT THAT SUCKAHZ.

Okay lah that pic was before I cut my fringe. Too long alr can tell right. Lulz like siao zha bor.

This is Suxiang. Hi!

Hahaha why so sad? :(

K see her brown fringe. Nice leh in real life!

Eh sian my air look abit cock in this photo.

Anyways after doing our hair we went to Cineleisue to watch Sex and The City 2. Damn fucking funny. I rly liked the part where Samantha broke her branded bag (sad) and all the condoms flew out.

"YES, I HAVE SEX!" -mimics hip thrusting action-

Teehee then heart-to-heart talk in front of 313. Talked until 9+PM then sent Xiang off, and me went to seesha with some people. End of my happy day.

I baked yesterday! Quite rare that I bake coz I'm too lazy. But got some ppl to bake with me so. Not that bad lah. Can talk cock all that :D Haha but aiya, y'know, for you it's worth it :)

I BAKED CHOCOLATE LAVA CAKE nom nom nom. See the warm chocolate oozing out. Shiok ah. The outside ain't solid enough. Easy to break open :(

This is what it looks like without icing sugar and ice cream/whipped cream and a strawberry as garnish. Plain and boring on the outside but yummy inside. Mmm :)

Gna bake again next week. This was only the testing batch. Yaaaaaay I hope the ones next week will be better and more solid on the outside.

Lalala meeting Suxiang later at night. I want my Forever 21 tank top! :/

mabellim

Paperweight.

2010-06-02T18:48:00.002+08:00

Every word you say, I think I should write down.

This song's my newest addiction. I've been playing it on repeat for the past few days. It's really a sweet song. I teared while on the bus to bowling.

I miss you. A lot. This is so heart-breaking.

mabellim

June holidays :)

2010-05-30T20:14:00.006+08:00

Haiii! I finally uploaded pics for blogging. Imma lazy girl. I think I'll start with FOUR @ HCI. It's some english drama production lah. I like the bitch one. Reminds me or Gossip Girl somehow hahaha :)

We went to Macs to eat before it started. I had the Quarter Pounder shiok ah :O

Me Fhot Aileng Maria and Jun Ying :)

I don't remember sticking my hand out so far to touch Maria's hand :/

Fhot and her white frisbee :D

Okay lah the plays were quite hilarious to me. And mai god they can act! Those bitches. I like!

Uh next up is Bowling CIP @ New Town Primary School.

Me Jiafang Qiaohui! (They're not from bowling btw)

Me and Mrs Smelly!

Fooling around with the whiteboard. I'm not Monster Mabel! I'm a rabbit :)

Fhot was busy highing on her own so only one picture of her. Plus her baby boys (I think) and Chang Feng (Mr Smelly) :D

Group photo of the P4 kiddies that we took care of! They were rly nice and cute!

Okkkkk yay June holidays have officially started like last Thursday. I went home sleeeeep from 5pm until next morning 8am (piggy much?) Idk what my body doing lah, my mother say she call me up for dinner but I didn't respond. I swear I didn't hear anyone call me :/

K lah then wake up alr quickly bathe then rushed to Bedok MRT meet 10S7J. I was late hahah oops. We went to East Coast Park to cycle :D

Weather fricking hot so I couldn't be fucked to take any pictures at ECP.

Went to sing songs after cycling. Shiok ah aircon. Sang for around 5 hours straight. Hahah damn high luh all of us.

I think that's Yingsheng dian-ing the songs.

Went for dinner after that at Bugis Junction! That's me Felicia Unice Angelina and Glen. My body damn red leh. Cycle under the hot sun. Especially my nose area super sian ttm so ugly :(

Me and Anzu playing Dai Dee with the guys.

I went out with Unice aiai the next day. Went to PoMo play pool then went to Clarke Quay there. Got flea market so we go look see walk walk. I bought 3 rings damn cute. (I got one mitchy matchy one with Unice!) And 2 raglan tees. And 1 tanktop. After that my shopping mood off alr.

Retarded girl but I still luv you ;)

Act one pro only. Haha jk lah.

Hi :)

Aiya then Unice had to go for band concert so I went back to Plaza Sing to find my cousin. Ate KFC, super noms. Shawn kept feeding me the crispy chicken skin! Damn delicious :D (But fattening leh)

Then met Cyrus smoke awhile then go home alr. Super sleepy cannot tahan.

Went for Transcendance 2010 at school today. Mm it was quite good lah I like the B-Boy parts!

Suxiang babe and me! My face like epic spoil leh in this pic SIAN.

Bus-ed to town for a quick snack (turned out to be my dinner) then headed home. And here I am. Stuck in the humid weather coz MY AIRCON FUCKING SPOIL! Knn, of all times have to spoil at this time of the year. FML lah.

Zzz how to sleep well every night. I'm gonna ask Mummy to call the service man asap. If not I'll squeeze into the room where my mum and sis sleeps in. What a bitch of an aircon.

mabellim

Nothing much to say.

2010-05-23T13:08:00.004+08:00

Why Formspring so irritating! My mabelthebimbo like a fuck up sia the account. I created a new one mabeltherabbit. Hahaha.

I got 2 things to blog about. FOUR @ HCI, Bowling CIP @ New Town Primary School. Later meeting Fhot at Plaza Sing to do facial lalala~

Went for steamboat and seesha with Cyrus & Kes yesterday! Didn't see them for quite a while alr. Had lots of fun :) Cyrus gave me Marlboro Reds. Thought it was okay at first. Then after a few sticks it didn't feel so good. Zzz.

K I think I needa go prepare alr. Bye!

mabellim

Formspring?

2010-05-20T23:55:00.003+08:00

Eh playing with this only. Seems like a damn fun thing leh. Ask me stuff you want to know via Formspring! K lah it's anonymous so don't hafta worry about identity.

Who asks the first question will receive chocolate from me! (HAHA)

mabellim

If you probe deep enough.

2010-05-20T23:30:00.003+08:00

Idk why I just suddenly cried.

I'm afraid and insecure, I guess.

I fear I may die anytime. That's my biggest secret. And now I'm telling it to the whole world. It may sound stupid but I don't care. Go ahead and laugh at me. I just don't want to regret anymore in life.

For I've had enough.

mabellim

I'm 17! (Part 3)

2010-05-16T23:44:00.009+08:00

Hi. Boring life much. Mugged for Math lecture test today :(

Anyway I think this will be the final and last part of my birthday posts. Went out with Suxiang babe ytd to celebrate my birthday! Hahah :)

We had Pepper Lunch! Om nom nom then we went to Swensens' for dessert. We had Cocolate Fondue! R u jealuzz? :D

It doesn't look yummy only, it IS yummy. I like the ice cream. And the rich melted chocolate.

Xiang and fondue.

Gimme a strawberry kiss!

BFFs :)

Xiang asked me to blow the candle below the thingy. Haha.

Display of our awesome rings :D see my newest addition to my rings! (The one with chains) Mad chio double chain ring.

Camwhoring everywhere we go.

Then we wanted to go Meridian to play pool. Walk all the way there alr then the place like damn packed. So we walked all the way to Cineleisure :/

At K Pool!

Xiang's second time playing. Haha very cute ah she.

My leg like abit deform one leh. My shorts are invisible (Y

Hahaha then halfway through our games, I got 2 cans of green tea from some random stranger. I thought it was from Cyrus (coz I met him there too). Then I asked if it was from him, and the guy just said, "No it's just some drinks for you all."

Guess what. There was a piece of paper on the green tea can. The guy put his number and wrote, "Maybe a game of pool sometime?"

I was like LOL-ing.

The piece of paper hahahahaha.

Xiang's birthday present to me! Thanks babe :)

Retarded face I like doing heehee.

Camwhoring again.

Then me went to University Cultural Club for Hwa Chong's chior performance. With Amelia Yiting and Pamela. To support Felicia.

Amelia me Yiting!

(Pamela didn't want to be in the picure)

Heheh after the concert we went to congratulate Felicia. We were screaming like mad fans of hers. It was all planned out. Uh the performance was okay lah, didn't rly feel anything for it. Not much of a choir fan anyway.

After that I received a text from him! "Look behind.. I'm behind you". I tio stunned luh didn't know he came all the way to UCC to pick me up. Dropped Amelia off at Dhoby Ghaut MRT, then we went chocolate bar again and I had Chocolate Souffle for dinner :)

I DON'T WANT YOU TO GO :(

It's gonna be lonely without you. I'll miss you. Take care while you're in Thailand!

mabellim

I'm 17! (Part 2)

2010-05-10T21:34:00.004+08:00

Ho hum, Chem test = gg! Today marks my 17th year of existence on Mother Earth. I'm very happy to have found many great friends and of course, my family, for being there for me always! My 17th birthday in school was quite a pleasant surprise.

The day started off with Chem test (FML!!!), then we went for GP lesson aftter that. I think Amelia Shirlynn Genevieve and Yuxuan (and Bihou if I didn't see wrongly) came in with a chocolate cake. With one pink candle on it!

I was like.. Omg :o

Then the class sang a birthday song for me and some other people I think. Thanks 10S7J! Got a pleasant surprise. Rly touched, thanks thanks thanks! ;D

Me and Amelia :)

Heeee hi so excited to cut cake.

Shirlynn me Amelia. With the cake!

And Unice my aiai of course! (Shit sound like xiao meimei ahlian here)

Then school all the way till 3pm. Me went out with Fhot to town after that. Stupid girl ah, ask Jiafang to tell me she feeling unwell need me go canteen help her buy sweets. In the end I came back she sit at class bench like nothing happen.

Secretly put present in my bag lor! Hahah another surprise :)

Opening the present...

My mouth abit spoil in this photo, ignore please!

SEEEE! Fhot gave me two furry sticker sheets. Damn cute la the leopard prints heeeee.

And 3 boxes of stuff from The Face Shop! Its a foundation make-up set!

Happy Fhots! My smile abit spoil also. And I got pimple on my left cheek yucks.

Close up of my make up set.

And to the puffballer giver, Fhot, it's around one and a half years since Fhotship started! Xie xie ni for the presents babe! I rly appreciate the thought leh! Love you :)

Other presents I received were..

A box of chocolates from Kim! Didn't expect them. Hahah idk how to say thank you in Korean, so I shall just say arigato! :)

A packet of Snickers chocolates from Amelia! Thanks babe!

I got this from Maria. I thought it was potato chips. Sth like Pringles. Then when I opened it to eat today, guess what was inside.

PAPER! WALAO. Hahahah cute sial. Can pass notes with this :D Thanks Maria a.k.a. Mickey!

Many ppl posted on my Facebook wall too. But that's just coz Facebook reminded tem lah. Appreciate it anyway :D

(EH AMMAR I'M MENTIONING YOU NOW. THANK YOU AH! I DOWAN REXONA AS BIRTHDAY PRESENT!)

I had a really great 17th. Celebrating with my family and friends... To everyone who wished me a Happy 17th Birthday, thank you! I shall go brush my teeth and sleep now :)

mabellim

I'm 17!

2010-05-10T00:02:00.004+08:00

Hey everyone it's 12:02AM. And Mabel PinkiePirate is officially 17. Haven't been updating since last week. Must be damn boring right my blog. Bowling A Divs has finally ended. Projects and homework still many many as usual.

Okay don't care must update. (I feel older alr)

Shawn and I went to Aston's at Centrepoint to celebrate our birthdays tgt last week! Hahah overdue pics, here they are :)

I looka likea spastic. Our birthday cake damn delicious.

Heart you cousin!

End of zi lian photos.

Daddy got me an iPhone, damn shiok. The pink cover is from my sister as birthday present! :D

My parents and grandfather hahaha.

This one mine. Noms.

Me.

Shawn.

Chieun Wei.

My cute sissy.

Avery and her to-be-husband.

Blow those candles out and eat cake.

Bought the strawberry shortcake from One Caramel somewhere around Cathay. It sells rly nice cakes. Go see go eat!

Me wanna say thank you to: Parry, Glenn, Nicollette, Cyrus, Hao Wei (stupid guy make me edit my blog post. THANKS FOR WISHING ME 12AM ON THE DOT! eh happy ma?), Cleon, Kim, Mabel Heng, Qiaohui, Elvin for wishing her a happy birthday. For posting on my wall, calling me, or smsing me. Thanks I appreciate it!

Special shoutout to Fhot! Thanks for the puff ball babe! LOL I rly don't mind it okay, so don't keep worrying lah! I love you thanks for being there for me always.

My birthday wish is to have all the time in the world to be with you. Thanks for celebrating my birthday with me at Republic of Steak and Chocolate Bar, together with Iron Man 2. Thanks for spending the whole Saturday night with me, iloveyoumuch ;)

mabellim

Is this goodbye..?

2010-05-01T20:52:00.002+08:00

This is one of your favourite songs. I'm sorry. I guess it's better for me to entirely disappear from your life. Take care?

mabellim

I'm reminded of you.

2010-04-27T19:50:00.002+08:00

I WANT THIS!!!

Shall pester Mummy to get one for me as birthday present. Daddy's getting iPhone for me heehee :)

mabellim

Nerds are the coolest stereotype.

2010-04-24T23:49:00.003+08:00

Apollo Faculty Outing - The Stereotype Party 2010

Kekekeke haii everibaddy last Friday was Apollo's Fac Outing, 10S7J dressed as nerds. Yes, I was one of them too :B

Win lah the specs.

Bucktooth and everything. EZ Link card, watter bottle strap...

Tuck in shirt, high skirts, white socks...

+ a nerd posing for the camera.

And the guys. Hahaha.

10S7J's girls! (and Suxiang LOL!)

I look cool. RIGHT?

Felicia and Unice. Hahah both of them fit perfectly as nerds (Y)

Amelia and meeee.

Zou You. Cute sial!

Zou You, Amelia and me. All tuck in also :)

But it rained like hell JUST BEFORE the party started. Damn suay. Food was like erm average lor. But we all had fun nonetheless. And at Fish Tank, Amelia Chua was totally... Hahaha shan't say lar, eh babe, secret-4-lyfe okay! :D

Roar :/

mabellim

Cupcakes please!

2010-04-22T21:46:00.003+08:00

Hi I know I haven't been updating alot since last week or sth. Been REALLY busy with school work. And CCA. I don't even have enough time to sleep! I needa destress after comps who wants to go out with me? :(

Bowling A Divs competitions are coming up in 3 days.

So some of the girls in the team decided to bake cupcakes for the whole team! As a form of encouragement. Go HC Bowling!

Mingwei and Jiaying, making cake batter!

Jiaying's trying the first batch of cookies. Eunice filling up the tray with batter. (Plus my extra hand)

Camwhore!

Guess who's the ultimate camwhore? (I didn't upload the rest of my photos coz my hair was screwed)

First batch of cookies were a lil' charred :/ BUT they still tasted nice!

Koped from Jiaying's Facebook. End product! Cute right (Y)

++ I'm not really sure what I want now. I still think there's a piece, or even pieces of the puzzle missing. I feel jolly. For some reason. That's good, right...?

(What?)

mabellim

I need more time.

2010-04-15T01:14:00.003+08:00

Bowling training is so goddamn intensive for this period coz got A Divs starting from 26 April. Jiayou everyone :)

And my PI is due next Mon. Plus Bio lecture test and Chem alternative assessment presentation. ALL DUE ON MONDAY FML!!!

AHHHHHH. Damn kan cheong about stuffs now. Why does time pass so quickly?

mabellim

By my side.

2010-04-12T22:12:00.002+08:00

A Little by Suh Ji Young (english translation)

You said to me nothing can change your mind
You believed there’s “one encounter” and “one chance”
But I know in your heart
Lies a glimmer of hope
That someone would find her way to you

Behind that smile lies a broken heart unhealed
All that you do is merely to disguise your pain
Pretending to be cold
Tried to push me away
You were too afraid to love

I won’t be fooled by the cruel words that you say
I still believe you’ll find love again
I just want… I just want to show you what’s in my heart
For I know I’ve found the one
And I’ll never let you go

A little smile is all I want
A little love is all I need
When you’re by my side, I know
Nothing in this world can replace
The joy I have inside
Please just let me stay one step behind
I just want to wait for you right here

I know that I may seem to be just a fool
I only hope that in time you will find a way
To let go of your past
To live without regrets
And to embrace love again

Did I tell you everything you’ve done for me?
I want to say how grateful I am
Without you… Without you, I could not stand on my own
You gave me strength to move on
And the courage to love you

A little smile is all I want
A little love is all I need
When you’re by my side, I feel
There’s no more darkness in my world
No matter what you do
I will not let you keep me away
I just want to stay right by your side

Please have faith in me to restore your hand and your heart
Please give me a chance

mabellim

Flickering nightlights.

2010-04-11T23:45:00.003+08:00

I went for Huang Cheng 2010 on Saturday. It was quite meaningful. And I was there to support Suxiang too. Nice acting ah babe. Aunty leh you, LOL! I liked the first part :)

Camwhore session before the show started.

Who prettier? Me? Yup :)

After the show. Fhot got sian face -.-

We're all happy girls!

After the show I went to eat Macdonalds' with Fhot. Had gastric :/ Then she told me everything about her two A and A guys! LOL I've been lagging so much in your life Fhot, always never tell me stuffs one. Hmph!

Slacked until 3 AM. Heart-to-heart talk really helped to relieve my stress. Thanks Fhot.

Went home sleep immediately. Econs test tmr. Then bowling practice the whole week. Walao sian ji pua zzz.

I celebated my cousins' birthdays today. Tmr or some other day then upload the photos k. NYDC was the sex. Their birthday cake also imba. Hahaha k NAPFA sure fail already.

mabellim

Only I judge myself.

2010-04-06T21:58:00.003+08:00

I'm gonna just say this, whatever things circulating around school about me now, it's really up to you all to believe them or not. Some may be true, some may not. And you'll only get to know what's real and what's not by talking to me.

Once and for all, I do NOT have a gang outside school. And I do NOT have a piercing down there. GOD. Who made up all these anyway? I find it really funny that these people have such a sad life spreading rumours, don't you have better things to do? Like study or go out with your friends or CCA?

It's harder when people don't understand and judge you for it.

To all the anonymous people tagging (one from USA, yes, I do check your IP addresses): Seriously, what are you trying to do? Give me advice and heartfelt words? I'm sorry, I won't listen to you... Because I lead my own life. I call the shots.

Sometimes I don't know whether they're trying to help or just being insensitive.

I won't let all these affect me. I won't conform to fit your expectations (to EVERYONE out there who's judging me). I change myself when I feel it's time.

Only I judge myself, no one else does, no one else is fit to.

mabellim

Masked beast.

2010-04-04T21:23:00.004+08:00

Went to Cyrus' place to hang out last night. I even brought my homework there to do can. Cyrus you slack leh ask ppl do homework for you! Hahaha. Okay one ugly photo for y'all. My face red alr. Yeah, I was drunk.

I got drunk infront of the guy whom I made a promise not to get drunk. What was I thinking man.

Then me and Nicollette were talking at the carpark when I was like half-sober half-drunk. All I know was that I shitted after that hahaha epic.

And I was biting the ciggy that Tim offered me coz I thought it was the MacDonalds' french fries that we bought earlier on. LOL win lah (Y)

"You're hurting two people at the same time but you hurt yourself the most."
Thanks for understanding. Bob loves Nicollette :)

And it hurts even more
when you look in the mirror,
and realize who's staring back at you
is the reason he's not here.

I brought this all upon myself.

mabellim

I don't know.

2010-04-03T22:32:00.003+08:00

Hi. I went for faculty CIP today. Motherfucking hot weather. We covered one whole block of flats. 13 storeys, carrying old toys books clothes newspapers magazines etc. Not much fun :( Will upload the only photo that I took with Amelia tmr k.

I've bowling selections tomorrow. I've much homework to do. I've alot on my mind. I've someone that I wanna be with right now.

I know that... He's forcing a smile. And even though he's still willing to meet up with me, kiss me and hug me to sleep, deep down he's still disappointed. Fucking disappointed with me. And I'll always live with this guilt pierced through my heart.

Damn, damn, damn, damn.

Okay going to Cyrus' house to slack with the rest now. Bye.

mabellim

I need sleep.

2010-03-29T22:55:00.003+08:00

Walao damn shag. Got back from bowling at 9+ PM. Bowled 3 games today. Suck ass man srsly. Was feeling damn demoralized at the start. I hope I'll do better tmr.

Fuck la get home so late still must study for Chem Performance Test tmr, don't know what shit is that. I'm rly tired!!! Should I go sleep? :/

But yay anw, thanks for being my lucky star during the bowling game, I love you Fhot!

Fhots Forever isn't impossible! ♥ :)

(I'm the taller one obviously!)

mabellim

I just wanna be happy.

2010-03-29T00:06:00.004+08:00

Okay, my blog's getting boring. I will update y'all with 4 photos!

During March holidays, Lee Lao Shi treated 407 to sushi @ Sakae Sushi! Heeee thanks :) all of us caught up with each other's happening lives (I presume) and complaining about JC life hahaha. I suddenly miss life in Nanyang, especially 407! Let's have 407 outing again some time leh!

Jiamin, Suxiang, Amelia and me doing stupid happy faces hahahaaaa.

Us with our beloved Lee Lao Shi!

Okay, next, ACJC Fun-O-Rama carnival which was yesterday. Went with Kim and Adalyn! Weather damn hot, got air con also no use. Didn't go Haunted Hospital, kinda regretted. but per entry was $10. Everything down there so expensive :(

Me and my retarded baby!

Yoke Ting, Adalyn, me!

I hate my big wide smile coz it shows off my yellow(ish) teeth. Like Batman's Joker like that eew! But it's my trademark smile leh LOL.

Tmr got bowling selection for school team. Tuesday also. Stress sia hahah.

mabellim